“When I tried to break up with him, Lu Zheng pinned me against the wall, but I managed to dodge away while struggling.”
“What, no kiss?”
“Get out!”
His hand pressed against the back of my neck:
“Then I…”
This was the boyfriend I had always thought was perfect.
He was young, wealthy, gentle and handsome, and he was not flirtatious. He was extremely considerate to me in everything.
Until on the eve of our engagement, I accidentally discovered that as a teenager, he was the kind of person I hated the most.
He was dull and taciturn, with a strange,quiet fire in his eyes when looking at people, and his smile was indescribably eerie.
And hidden at the bottom of his trunk were photos of my deceased ex – boyfriend.
1
On the eve of the engagement, I found a box of hidden treasures at Lu Zheng’s mother’s house.
His parents divorced when he was young. He lived with his mother in Jiangsu and Zhejiang when he was a teenager, and only followed his father to Yicheng to live after growing up.
In the camphor – wood box were all his old things from his school days.
Veined bookmarks, Mickey key – chains, Yu – Gi – Oh! cards, etc.
The more I looked at them, the more familiar they seemed. I always felt that I had seen these things somewhere.
Until I flipped through a tattered notebook, on which was written:
“Monday, the weather changed from overcast to sunny. She smiled, with a shallow dimple on her cheek. I wanted to kiss it.”
“Wednesday, the weather was sunny. I deliberately teased her and found that although she maintained an aloof top – student persona, she was actually a delicate and soft girl. Haha.”
“Friday, the weather was gloomy. She was afraid of me, and her eyes were full of disgust when looking at me.”
“Saturday, the weather was thunder – shower. She brought breakfast for someone surnamed Qi, smiled with a dimple at him, and even blushed shyly.”
“Thursday, the weather was snowstorm. I saw her accept a love letter from someone surnamed Qi and hide it in the drawer. Her eyes couldn’t hide her joy.”
The next few pages of the paper were torn off, leaving only a remaining corner.
I suddenly closed the notebook, feeling cold all over. A thought was about to come out in my mind.
Lu Zheng was called out by a phone call, leaving only me and his mother at home.
I tentatively asked, “Auntie, which middle school did Lu Zheng attend?”
Aunt Lu said, “No. 11 Middle School. His grades were not good. Later, he followed his father and went abroad for high school.”
I attended No. 11 Middle School in junior high school.
“Auntie, when he was with you, did he follow your surname?”
Aunt Lu nodded. “He wasn’t called Lu Zheng in junior high school. His name was Meng Cinian.”
After more than ten years, when I heard this name again, I still couldn’t stop being terrified.
I couldn’t remember clearly what he looked like as a teenager.
Vaguely, Meng Cinian was dull and taciturn, looking at me with a straight – eyed gaze, which was indescribably strange.
He was a complete paranoid at that time.
Who would have thought that more than ten years later, he would be reborn as a different person and become the one I wholeheartedly liked.
I couldn’t help but suspect that this relationship was just his deliberate plan.
2
On the way back, I kept staring at him intently.
Lu Zheng was driving. He reached out and touched my head, smiling dotingly. “Why are you looking at me like this?”
“You’re mine. I can look at you however I want.”
Just this one sentence made him laugh.
I couldn’t see a trace of the “Meng Cinian” – like strangeness on his face, but I still couldn’t stop feeling scared.
Since I was a child, I’ve always been the center of attention wherever I went.
But my love life has been rather bumpy.
I still can’t remember the full name of the person surnamed Qi he mentioned in the notebook.
But I remember one thing.
One day, when I went to find classmate Qi, the look in his eyes was as terrified as if he had seen a ghost.
He was so afraid of me that he would avoid me whenever he saw me later.
This incident hit me hard.
Until high school, I had an admired senior. He was handsome, had good grades, and a gentle personality. I chased after his footsteps and got into the same university as him.
We got along very well.
He even took me to the New Year’s Eve party that year.
When the lights in the auditorium went out, during the one – minute period after the zero – hour bell rang, it was the default kiss time.
I was pulled to a corner.
When the lights came on, when the senior saw my swollen lips, my budding love ended without a sound.
And I still don’t know who the person was who kissed me.
But I remember the feeling of him pinching the back of my neck, which was exactly the same as Lu Zheng’s.
Strictly speaking, my first love was Xu Jiahe.
I was with him for only a short half – year, but he became the white moonlight that I could never catch up with in my life.
Because he was strangely drowned in the water, and the murderer is still at large.
3
Lu Zheng and I drove back to his residence.
He went into the kitchen to cook, and I said I was tired and wanted to go upstairs to rest.
When I reached the second floor, I glanced at Lu Zheng’s back downstairs, then turned and went to his study.
A person’s habits formed since childhood are hard to change.
He likes to bury his secrets at the bottom of a box. In this study that he often enters and exits, there must be some secrets hidden in a certain corner.
I searched his study carefully but found nothing.
Looking up inadvertently, I met the pinhole camera in the eyes of the display – cabinet doll!
The sound of footsteps came quietly from behind.
Lu Zheng’s cold voice fell. “What are you looking for?”
“I left several books here. There’s a romance novel that I haven’t finished reading, and I can’t find it no matter how hard I look.”
“Is it this one?”
He took a novel from the bottom of the bookshelf and handed it to me.
“This is it.”
I took the book and walked out. Lu Zheng called me from behind:
“Weren’t you tired? Why do you suddenly want to read a book?”
“I plan to read it after waking up.”
He put his hand on my head and led me out. When passing by the bedroom, he pushed me in.
“Have a good sleep. When you wake up, there will be your favorite pickled – fish with pickled cabbage.”
I sat on the bed. When I opened the title – page of the book, I burst into tears.
The day Xu Jiahe was killed, he was holding this collected – edition novel of mine and queuing up at the bookstore to get the author’s signature.
This book should have sunk to the bottom of the lake with him.
But it appeared at the bottom of Lu Zheng’s bookshelf.
I finally remembered why those veined bookmarks, Mickey key – chains, and Yu – Gi – Oh! cards were so familiar.
Those were all things I had used.
He was so paranoid that he even wanted to privately possess my things.
Xu Jiahe’s brother asked me out for tea.
I had seen him at the funeral. I knew he was a psychology professor at the university. Sitting in front of him, I felt a sense of unease as if I was being seen through.
“Do you know what kind of person Lu Zheng is?”
Xu Qingke firmly held the initiative in the conversation. Seeing that I didn’t speak, he said directly:
“Do you remember the senior who chased you in college?”
“What about him?”
“He had a car accident in his sophomore year and was hit into a vegetative state.”
Sitting in the sun, I couldn’t stop shaking.
“And then there’s my brother, who was drowned in the water.”
Xu Qingke stared into my eyes and said every word like a knife. “None of the people who were with you ended well, except Lu Zheng.”
I felt cold all over, and my whole body froze.
“I once gave Lu Zheng a test. He is paranoid and possessive, and has a tendency to split personality.”
Xu Qingke said bluntly, “I suspect he is the murderer who killed my brother, but I have no evidence.”
I tightly clenched my fingers and lowered my head.
“He has a deep obsession with you, to the point of pathological possession. There is only one way to convict him.”
Xu Qingke looked at me deeply and said, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”
4
Xu Qingke looked seven – tenths like Xu Jiahe.
But his gaze was too sharp. I couldn’t find the slightest shadow of Jiahe on him.
“I can’t be your girlfriend.”
“This is not up to you to decide.”
Xu Qingke said forcefully, even domineeringly, “Jiahe is gone. I have to protect you for him.”
“I can’t let you be in danger.”
“Worried about me?” Xu Qingke suddenly chuckled. “Then be obedient.”
I stubbornly shook my head and didn’t agree to him.
It rained outside. The pattering sound of the rain made me think of the first time I met Lu Zheng.
We got to know each other through a blind date.
It was also such a rainy day, in such a coffee shop. We didn’t talk much and then separated.
When leaving, he stuffed the umbrella into my hand and rushed into the heavy rain himself. No matter how much I called him from behind, he didn’t look back.
That was the third year after Jiahe’s death. I lived in a daze.
Whenever it was windy or rainy, he would appear in front of me, timely bringing an umbrella, without disturbing my life too much.
Only on days when the blizzard raged, he would drive me to and from work. There was always a cup of hot drink on the passenger seat. When the car arrived downstairs, he never went upstairs.
This kind of distance, sometimes far and sometimes near, lasted for a whole year.
Just like when I refused him, Xu Qingke held an umbrella and walked towards me. When he sent me to the passenger seat, he put his arm around my shoulder, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable.
Since being force – kissed on New Year’s Eve, I’ve been very resistant to contact with the opposite sex, especially with people I’m not familiar with.
Xu Qingke sent me downstairs. When I pushed the door to get out, there was a “click” sound, and he locked the car.
“You can try to date me as if I were Jiahe.”
I grabbed the car handle, just wanting to get out of the car.
There was warm air flowing in the car, and his wet shirt was exuding a little moisture.
“It’s raining so hard. If it were Jiahe, would you invite him upstairs to take shelter from the rain?”
I shivered all over and subconsciously looked at the floor. Just then, I saw the orange light suddenly light up in my window.
“Lu Zheng is up there.”
The aura around Xu Qingke cooled down. He unlocked the car, and I pushed the door open and rushed into the corridor in the rain.
5
When Lu Zheng saw me changing shoes at the entrance, all wet, he filled the bathtub with hot water for me.
“You always go out without an umbrella. Next time when there’s such a heavy rain, remember to call me to pick you up.”
The corners of his eyes were hooked as he smiled, with a rogue – like look, exuding a bit of evil spirit.
“Who sent you back? How did you get drenched like this?”
I bypassed him and entered the bathroom. “I took a ride – hailing car back.”
He leaned against the doorframe and smiled. “Don’t do this again. If you catch a cold, I’ll have to take care of you.”
I was soaking in the warm water of the bathtub, but still felt cold all over.
Lu Zheng was standing outside the bathroom door. The light cast a ghostly shadow of him.
I looked at the person in front of me, feeling that he was completely different. I was afraid that he would rush in the next moment. I kept staring at him through the door.
But he left quietly.
I hugged my knees tightly and repeatedly told myself that since I couldn’t count on Xu Qingke to find the real murderer, I could only rely on myself.
Lu Zheng appeared at the door again. He knocked gently on the door. “Aheng, don’t soak in the bath for too long. Be careful not to catch a cold.”
“I’ll be done soon.”
I walked out with my wet hair. Lu Zheng found a towel and started to dry my hair for me.
“Why are you shaking like this? Are you cold?”
As he said this, he turned my head, pressed his forehead against mine, and rubbed it gently. “You don’t have a fever. Why are you shaking, Aheng?”
I looked into his long and narrow eyes, where there was a smile, hiding endless tenderness.
“Afraid of me?” he teased with a smile.
“My hair is dripping water. It makes me cold.”
Lu Zheng pulled off the towel wrapped around my head, carefully wiped away the water, let me rest my head on his lap, and blow – dried my hair with a hair dryer.
I closed my eyes and held back my tears, feeling the tingling sensation brought by his fingers passing through my hair, extremely light, slow, and extremely seductive.
Lu Zheng had never forced me to do anything. He was always seductive, only lighting the fire, step by step leading me into the endless abyss.
And at this moment, I was actually greedy for the touch of his fingertips pressing, and this damned tenderness.
6
I invited my second uncle to go fishing at the reservoir.
My second uncle is a retired old policeman. He has been helping me investigate Xu Jiahe’s case for these years.
I told him everything about Lu Zheng. My second uncle smoked with his head down, and there were cigarette butts all over the ground beside his feet.
“Was Jiahe fished out from this reservoir?”
My second uncle said hoarsely, “Right at the dead corner of the dam. It was the flood season at that time, and it rained heavily for seven days. When the fishermen found him, he had been eaten beyond recognition by river fish, and all the evidence was destroyed.”
I tightly grasped the railing in my hand.
“That day he said he wanted to give me a surprise, took my book and ran to the bookstore to queue for an autograph. He shouldn’t and wouldn’t have appeared in this desolate place.”
My second uncle took a deep puff of his cigarette. “So the possibility of dumping the body is the greatest.
This reservoir is near the highway service area. There are many people who come here for night fishing. I’ve checked the people who came and went during that period, but there were no clues.
After investigation the people around Xu Jiahe, no suspect was found. This case has no way to start investigating, unless there are new clues.”
My second uncle lifted the collected – edition autographed book in his hand. “It’s a pity this isn’t evidence. Just based on a book that was in Xu Jiahe’s hand, we can’t convict Lu Zheng.”
I loosened the railing in my hand and said, “Second uncle, at least we have a suspect. Starting from him, we can always find a breakthrough.”
But he insisted, “Aheng, if you want me to keep investigating, you must leave Lu Zheng. I won’t allow you to have any more contact with him.”
“Second uncle, why don’t you understand?”
I said in great grief, “The murderer is coming for me. Whether it’s Lu Zheng or not, I can’t escape.”
7
I asked my second uncle to investigate the senior who became a vegetative state.
He had a car accident after drunk – driving.
The traffic accident appraisal report stated that: after getting drunk, he mistook the accelerator for the brake, stepped on it hard, and the car hit the bridge pier and fell apart, and he passed out on the spot.
But the senior I knew was an extremely self – disciplined and self – reflective person. He would never have committed the illegal act of drunk – driving.
Moreover, he never drank alcohol. How could he have gotten himself drunk and unconscious.
Whenever I thought of this, I couldn’t help feeling a chill.
Xu Qingke invited me out several times, but I refused him.
I originally thought this matter would just end like this.
Who would have thought that he would appear at the centennial university anniversary dinner and corner me in the dead end of the corridor.
Xu Qingke blocked the way ahead. “I’ll give you two choices. Either be my girlfriend or break up with Lu Zheng.”
“Sorry, I can’t do it.”
I stubbornly looked at him, with no sign of compromise in my eyes.
“Then I’ll choose one for you,” he said with a cold expression. “I’ll treat you the way Jiahe treated you before.”
“Professor Xu, you are you, and Jiahe is Jiahe.”
I walked around him, but he grabbed my wrist and pinned me against the corridor pillar.
“Professor Xu, you – “
He approached me, his eyes swept down sharply. “He was my own brother. I can’t let him die without knowing why. You don’t want to harm me and want to bring Lu Zheng to justice alone. How could I harm you?”
The suddenly close distance made me extremely uncomfortable. I tried to pull my hand, but he held it even tighter.
“Lu Zheng is watching.”
I looked out in horror. In the dark tree shadows, I could vaguely make out Lu Zheng’s face.
“Don’t provoke him.”
Xu Qingke let out a soft laugh. “It’s you who provoked me.”
I looked up at him in confusion.
“I’ve already asked you to treat me as Jiahe. Why don’t you accept me?”
I pressed my body tightly against the pillar behind. When he lowered his head to kiss me, I closed my eyes tightly and struggled desperately. “Jiahe never kissed me.”
He said he would treat me the way Jiahe treated me. I didn’t believe he dared.
Xu Qingke stopped just in time. At such a close distance, his breath was hot and intense.
I opened my eyes and saw him back away, with a look of mockery in his eyes. “You dated him for half a year and had a platonic relationship?”
“This has nothing to do with you.”
What I said was the truth. Even in the first year when I was with Lu Zheng later, he didn’t hold my hand.
Because of that forced kiss, I once rejected contact with the opposite sex.
Xu Jiahe never forced me.
He would always raise his eyebrows and smile at me when I looked at him inadvertently.
He could always come up with all kinds of funny jokes.
He took care of my three meals, often took me running, and would always reward me with all kinds of snacks, saying that I wouldn’t get fat no matter what I ate.
I was lost in memories, and Xu Qingke interrupted me.
“What about you and Lu Zheng?”
I told him without hesitation, “In the next two years when I was with him, we did everything. And I was the one who took the initiative.”
Xu Qingke looked at me with a look of indignation for his brother.
He said casually, “I just faked the kiss.”
I was shocked and subconsciously looked at the shade of the tree. The tall figure had already disappeared.
8
When I got home at night, I saw Lu Zheng waiting at the door of the room.
He was leaning against the wall, with a cigarette between his fingers. In the dark voice – controlled corridor, it was like a will – o’ – the – wisp.
“Why don’t you open the door and go in?”
“I left my key on your table.”
I opened the door and entered. He turned around and grabbed my wrist, pinning me against the wall in the entrance.
In the dark, he suddenly sucked the cigarette butt red. Seeing me shrink back, he suddenly laughed. “Afraid I’ll burn you with the cigarette butt?”
As he said this, he threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it into ashes.
“Lu Zheng, I want to break up with you.”
At this point, I had no choice but to follow the proposal Xu Qingke made before.
“Why? Just because he looks like Xu Jiahe?”
My non – committal attitude angered him, and he pinned me against the wall.
“What, no kiss?”
“Get out!”
His hand pressed against the back of my neck, gently then firmly squeezing. His deep eyes smiled very charmingly, and he coldly approached me.
“Then I – “
He was like a lone wolf, not allowing any trace of others’ smell in his territory.
Not until my mouth was full of the bitter taste of tobacco did he stop.
“Was it you who kissed me on New Year’s Eve, Meng Cinian?”
Lu Zheng’s whole body stiffened. He looked at me with dark eyes, pressed my head and murmured, “Aheng, I didn’t expect that incident to hurt you so deeply.”
“Then you should know how much I resist your touch after learning the truth.”
I stared at him steadily. “Let me go, Lu Zheng.”
“Where do you want to go?”
He held my wrist tightly. “Aheng, as long as I’m alive, you will never be able to go to Xu Qingke’s side.”
“Is this your true face?”
“I’m paranoid, but Xu Qingke’s face is even more terrifying.”
He raised his hand and covered my eyes, not letting me see his ferocious look. “You’d better never see him in this life.”
9
I unilaterally dissolved the engagement, and Aunt Lu came to me because of this.
“I can’t marry a paranoid and possessive person. I’m sorry.”
Aunt Lu said, “He has been getting better for you. Don’t you feel anything?”
I subconsciously reacted, “That’s just the affectionate persona he pretended.”
Aunt Lu looked at me with deep pain in her eyes. That hurtful look deeply touched me.
“For a person with his extreme personality, he will pretend before getting you. But what about after getting you?”
He will possess me crazily.
My mind was full of the two – year life we spent together. Besides being as considerate as ever, Lu Zheng was more about self – restraint.
So restrained that he had nowhere to vent, he would call out “Aheng” again and again at night.
From being dull and taciturn to being elegant in conversation, completely changing his previous solitude, and being impeccable in dealing with people. I don’t know what he had experienced to be reborn as a different person.
Aunt Lu said, “When he was young, his father often beat me. That’s when he went to extremes and his personality became extreme.
Later, the court judged the divorce, and he followed me. But in the year of high school, he told me that he wanted to go and live with his father.
Just because that man was rich, he wanted to go and strive for a future. I don’t know what his future was. He clearly hated that man so much.”
I vaguely guessed the reason why he did this, but I became more and more unable to see through the truth.
While Lu Zheng was away, I went to his study again.
I cut off the network of the surveillance. In his study, I found five micro – cameras.
After roughly dividing the monitored area, these five cameras were all, without exception, aimed at the position of the second – row bookshelf.
I set up a ladder and went up, flipping through the books one by one. Behind the bookshelf where picture books were placed on the second layer, I found a hidden compartment.
Opening the small drawer, there was a topographic map of the upper and lower reaches of the reservoir inside. A villa area was circled with a red pen, which was particularly conspicuous.
That was the reservoir where Xu Jiahe had an accident.
Besides, there was a folding fishing rod, a bundle of thin fishing line, and a folded photo.
My fingers trembling, I picked up the photo and turned it over. It was startling a side photo of Xu Jiahe waiting in line for an autograph on the day he died.
10
When my second uncle was investigating the senior, he found that he had planned to pursue postgraduate studies in his sophomore year.
In order to get in touch with the big shots in the academic circle, he often went out to dinner parties with his seniors.
After a while, he became familiar in front of those big shots.
That car accident happened when he was called out temporarily to pick up a big shot during the dinner party and had an accident after drunk – driving.
I looked at the photos my second uncle sent me. There was no one I knew in that dinner party, and no suspicious person was found either.
The clue was broken again here.
Xu Qingke invited me out for dinner again.
This time I accepted the invitation, which was equivalent to acquiescence his previous proposal to pretend to be his girlfriend and draw out Lu Zheng’s next move.
I asked casually, “Professor Xu, are you still recruiting postgraduate students?”
“Yes, I am,” Xu Qingke looked at me from across. “Do you want to apply across majors?”
“If possible.” I probed.
His index finger tapped the table rhythmically, pondering. “It’s a bit difficult.”
“I’ve signed up for a psychology – related postgraduate entrance examination class. No matter how difficult it is, I have to learn.”
Xu Qingke smiled faintly. “With the relationship that I’m chasing you, it’s not appropriate for you to apply to be my postgraduate student.”
I didn’t want to force him either. “Well, forget it.”
“Aheng, I can recommend you to Professor Zhou or Professor Liu. What do you think?”
If I remembered correctly, the dinner party the senior attended before the accident included these two professors surnamed Zhou and Liu.
Now I couldn’t help suspecting that the big shot the senior was called out to pick up was Xu Qingke.
“Thank you, Professor Xu.”
Xu Qingke frowned slightly. “I’ve called you Aheng. Why do you still call me professor?”
I said reluctantly, “Qing – Ke – “
11
It rained heavily on the way back.
Xu Qingke drove me. As soon as I fastened my seat belt, he asked, “Go to your place or mine?”
I froze in the passenger seat. “Why… are you asking this?”
He looked through the rear – view mirror. “Lu Zheng is following us.”
Through the pouring rain curtain, I saw the familiar Land Rover, and my eyes suddenly became hot.
“Where do you live?”
“In the villa in Linshui Bay.”
That villa area was the one circled with a red pen on the reservoir topographic map by Lu Zheng.
I turned my head, hiding the panic in my eyes.
The suspicion that Xu Qingke was the murderer originated from the photo hidden in the hidden compartment.
It was a souvenir photo of a tourist making a peace sign, and Xu Jiahe was just one of the background people.
Looking from the side, he had a hand – raising action. That was his habitual gesture of waving his hand out when refusing someone.
He should have been talking to an acquaintance at that time. The person asked him to go over, but he had to queue up for an autograph, so he declined the person’s kindness.
Thinking about it carefully, with his easy – going personality, if that person had been waiting for him to get in the car, he couldn’t have refused to get in.
Associating with all the previous things, that person could only be Xu Qingke.
I knew that if I took this wrong step, I would fall into an abyss of eternal damnation.
But I had already survived the most difficult years at the beginning. With only this last step left, how could I give up halfway.
I pretended to be calm and said, “Go to your place.”
Xu Qingke’s index finger tapped on the steering wheel. “Are you trying to provoke him?”
I asked him back, “Isn’t this exactly what you want?”
He started the car and drove towards the villa area.
All the way, the rain poured down.
I sent my location to my second uncle, making the worst plan.
The Land Rover behind accelerated and overtook, did a drift and a tail – swing, and blocked horizontally in front of the lane.
Xu Qingke stepped on the brakes hard, stopping the car in a hurry.
Lu Zheng threw open the car door and came over. He stood outside the passenger seat, pounding on the window and shouting, “Get out!”
I watched him standing in the pouring rain, soaked through. He was so crazy. Why didn’t he leave himself a way out?
Xu Qingke looked at me playfully. “Aheng, he wants you to get out.”
“I’ve already broken up with him.”
I heard the rain falling even harder, and I also heard him shout two words at me, “Dodge – “
The car window was smashed violently. I subconsciously sideways dodged. At the same time as the wind and rain poured in, a hand reached in and opened the car door.
Lu Zheng unbuckled my seat belt, grabbed me and pulled me out.
12
The heavy rain made it hard for me to open my eyes. I struggled hard, but he dragged me all the way and threw me into the passenger seat.
“Lu Zheng, I’ve broken up with you. This has nothing to do with you!”
“You just want to die? I won’t allow it.”
Lu Zheng buckled my seat belt, then locked the car door, walked around the front of the car, got into the driver’s seat, stepped on the accelerator, and drove the car into the night.
He drove back to the residence, dragged me upstairs, and threw me into the bathtub. When the cold water from the showerhead sprayed down, I shivered all over. He pressed against my neck and questioned, “Do you like Xu Jiahe so much that you’re willing to give up your life for him?”
“Yes, I do like Jiahe.” I stared at him with a determined gaze. The way he looked at me was as if he wanted to tear me apart.
“Then what am I?”
“A pathetic pursuer.” I used the most vicious words to hurt him.
A strange smile appeared on Lu Zheng’s face again, but I wasn’t afraid at all.
“So what if I’m a pathetic pursuer? You’ve long been mine.”
He changed the shower to hot water and slammed the door out.
I was fully immersed in the hot water and gradually calmed down. Lu Zheng was sitting on the living – room carpet, his left hand hanging down, with blood dripping from his fingers. I fetched the first – aid kit, used tweezers to pick out the fragments, and bandaged his wound to stop the bleeding. When I looked up to ask if it hurt, I found that he was looking at me obediently.
“There’s water in the bathtub. Go wash up. Don’t let the wound touch the water.”
I put away the first – aid kit, but he turned around and grabbed my wrist, took out a thin rope from behind, and tied my hands and feet.
“Lu Zheng, what are you doing?!”
“Aheng, when this rainstorm is over, everything will end.”
I struggled desperately with my hands and feet, and tears couldn’t stop streaming down. “Lu Zheng, this has nothing to do with you. What are you going to do?”
His hand pressed against the back of my neck, and he stuffed a ball of gauze into my mouth.
“Aheng, I can die for you.”
I couldn’t shout with the gauze in my mouth. I shook my head desperately, stomped my feet on the ground anxiously, and silently begged him not to go. But he locked the door and left without looking back.
I had always thought that the murderer was coming for me, but this time I was wrong. That person had a deep obsession with me, to the point of pathological possession. First the senior, then Xu Jiahe, and this time it was clearly aimed at Lu Zheng.
13
Lu Zheng went to the villa in Linshui Bay in the rain. Xu Qingke seemed to have expected that he would come. In the middle of the night, he was still waiting for him on the fishing platform.
“You came alone? Didn’t call the police?”
“I’m here to kill you. Why call the police?”
Lu Zheng walked onto the platform. “You strangled Xu Jiahe to death with a fishing line and pushed him into the river from the high platform. That’s how I’ll kill you this time.”
Xu Qingke’s face darkened. He was extremely cautious, fearing that Lu Zheng was recording to get a confession. He wouldn’t reveal a single word about this matter.
“It happened to be such a rainstorm day, and the water was rising during the flood season. Since you could get away unscathed, why can’t I?”
“You’re committing murder.”
Lu Zheng took out a bundle of fishing line in his hand, twisted it together. “I bet you, the murderer, won’t call the police. Before coming, I cut off all the surveillance networks here.”
Xu Qingke didn’t expect Lu Zheng to be crazier than him. Coming here so well – prepared, he clearly wanted to put him to death.
“You’re actually the same kind of person as me.”
“We’re both people with mental problems. Neither of us is better than the other.”
Lu Zheng looked at him with a cold gaze. “Actually, even without you doing it, I would have killed Xu Jiahe and Aheng’s senior. Xu Qingke, you think Aheng has a face that makes people commit crimes, so you killed those who coveted her. Coincidentally, I think the same way. So you can’t live.”
Xu Qingke stepped back as Lu Zheng pressed forward.
“Lu Zheng, do you dare to fight me?”
“I’ve never killed anyone. But what have you gained from killing someone?”
Lu Zheng crazily provoked him. “Aheng is mine. She belongs to me from head to toe. You think that if she knows I’m a paranoid, she’ll leave me? Then why don’t you think that when she knows the truth, that I killed you in self – defense, she’ll be mine wholeheartedly. Xu Qingke, you’ll be the scapegoat, and she’ll belong to me completely, both physically and mentally.”
Xu Qingke tore off his disguise, took out a dagger from behind the pillar.
“Lu Zheng, you’re completely right. But the scapegoat who will die is you, and the person she’ll be with wholeheartedly is me.”
14
Xu Qingke made a quick slash with the knife, and Lu Zheng narrowly avoided it.
“You’re the one who really deserves to die. Those two people weren’t even worth my effort.”
Lu Zheng sneered. “But you still did it.”
“Is that even considered doing something?”
Xu Qingke forced him step by step to the corner. “Aheng’s senior came to pick me up. I kept urging him on the phone, and he stepped on the accelerator and hit the bridge pier. Xu Jiahe got into my car on his own. He didn’t struggle much until he died. And you’re even stupider, coming here to get yourself killed.”
Xu Qingke lunged at him with the knife raised. Lu Zheng struck back and immediately knocked the dagger out of his hand. Unexpectedly, there was a circle of fishing line wrapped around Xu Qingke’s wristband. He pulled out the thin line, wrapped it around Lu Zheng’s neck, and pulled it back with all his might.
Lu Zheng protected his neck with his hands, and bloodstains were left on his hands. He could hardly catch his breath.
Beams of light lit up in the grass, and dozens of policemen rushed over shouting. Those voices were faint and distant. Lu Zheng seemed to hear nothing. He only heard Xu Qingke, after going crazy with killing intent, muttering two sentences viciously:
“That’s how I strangled Xu Jiahe to death. No one can do anything about it. You’ve had Aheng for two years. I want the rest of her life.”
Lu Zheng fell heavily to the ground. After struggling with his last bit of strength, he fainted.
15
My second uncle found me overnight, untied me, and let me out. I asked him how Lu Zheng was, but he only told me that Lu Zheng didn’t die, without telling me how he was. It was a long time later that I learned that his laryngeal bone was broken, and his ten finger joints were also broken into two sections. If it weren’t for his palm blocking the main blood vessel, he would have died on the spot.
I went to the police station to make a statement. Many details of the truth came to light. For example, that collected – edition autographed book was put on Lu Zheng’s bookshelf by Xu Qingke, in order to make me suspect Lu Zheng. For example, Lu Zheng had been investigating Xu Qingke, and later when he was checking into the senior, he met my second uncle. They had no evidence to convict Xu Qingke, so they could only make him commit a crime again, which led to the final act of the double – act. But they underestimated Xu Qingke’s ferocity, and Lu Zheng almost lost his life.
My second uncle didn’t say, and Aunt Lu didn’t say. No one told me where Lu Zheng was. So I went to the temple in the mountains to pray for him. Not seeing him, only by listening to the chanting in the temple could I have a moment of peace. One day, there was a wind in the mountains, and I was trapped in the spring rain. Rainwater was dripping down from the eaves. I reached out to catch the rain, and an umbrella was handed to me. Lu Zheng was standing right behind me. When I saw the twenty – centimeter – long scar on his neck and his unnaturally bent fingers, my tears welled up.
“Aheng, I’m sorry to you in the past.”
He looked at me quietly and said, “You can sentence me to life imprisonment.”
I wiped away my tears, opened the umbrella, and walked into the rain. “What is life imprisonment?”
He followed me with an umbrella. “Let me pick you up and drop you off at work regardless of the weather, allow me to care about you, and you can be indifferent to me. But in the future, the only one who can court you can only be me.”
Listening to the pattering rain on the umbrella, I lowered my head silently. “Won’t you fight for a commutation of sentence?”
Lu Zheng responded smartly, “Give me a chance.”
I immediately asked him, “You have a notebook. What was written on the torn – off pages at the back?”
Facing such a good opportunity, Lu Zheng just stubbornly refused to speak.
The thoughts of the teenager were obscure and hard to understand, like a clear and green lake, with calm water flowing deep.
Tuesday, the weather was sunny after the rain. I beat up the person surnamed Qi, making him never dare to think about her again.
Wednesday, the weather was sleet. She was both afraid of and hated me. I had countless ways to make her yield, but what I desired most was to be in her eyes.
Saturday, the weather was gray. I left Jiangsu and Zhejiang for Yicheng. When I come back transformed in the future, I will surely become the person she wholeheartedly likes.
Monday, the weather was clear. After zero o’clock, I force – kissed her. She is mine, only mine. No one can take her away from me!
Wednesday, the weather was sunny. Her eyes were dull, she didn’t talk much, and her smile was also perfunctory. But I came to her side. The future is long. No matter what happens in the future, I will hold her hand and walk on together.
(The end of the full text)
Xu Qingke’s Epilogue
The first time Xu Jiahe talked about that girl in front of me, his eyes were shining. He said her name was Aheng. The first time he saw her, he thought how could there be such a dazzling girl in the world. The dazzling I could think of was like the shining of sunlight on the sparkling waves. For this half – brother of mine, I was perfunctory on the surface, but in fact, I hated him deeply in my heart. Back then, his mother got pregnant to get into the family, and she broke up my family alive. After he was born, he was showered with love and easily took away my father. Since I was a child, I never showed the slightest dislike for him. On the contrary, I doted on this younger brother so much that he would tell me all his thoughts. He had a girl he held dear in his heart. I wanted to destroy him, and I would start with this girl.
Xu Jiahe said that she was force – kissed and hid herself in a shell like a turtle. I met her by chance one afternoon. The sense of brokenness she had while bathing in the sun was like broken ice shards, stabbing straight into my heart. It aroused my possessiveness hidden in the darkness. She should belong to me alone. Just one look at her, and the sinful pleasure grew like wild grass in a damp and dark cave. No one could privately possess her. That senior deserved to die. The matter of being force – kissed could be big or small. If it weren’t for his disgust, she wouldn’t have given up on herself. Xu Jiahe deserved to die even more. He took away everything that belonged to me. I originally planned to torture him slowly, making him watch himself lose everything without being able to do anything to save it. But Aheng took a fancy to him, so he had to die immediately. I went to the bookstore to pick him up and smoothly brought him to the villa. He was still excitedly talking non – stop while holding the autographed book in his hand. I took out a fishing line and strangled his neck from behind. Xu Jiahe struggled with a look of horror on his face. I didn’t let him die immediately. Instead, I told him bit by bit the resentment I had accumulated over the past twenty – odd years. The more he argued and begged for mercy, the tighter I pulled the fishing line in my hand. Until he was on the verge of death, his face purple, scratching at my hand and begging, “Brother… spare… Aheng…”
“No, she can only be mine.”
I filled his clothes with fish bait and dumped his body into the flooded river. The heavy rain washed away all the traces. The resentment I had suppressed for more than twenty years burst out of my body at that moment and turned into pleasure, drowning me. But I couldn’t have Aheng immediately. The police were still investigating the cause of Xu Jiahe’s death. I definitely couldn’t be with her at this time. Her heart was dead, so I would wait until she came back to life. I studied abroad for three years. When everyone had forgotten about Xu Jiahe, I returned to the country. When I saw Aheng again, she was already Lu Zheng’s fiancée. Lu Zheng was the one who really deserved to die. He had all my jealousy. He alone possessed Aheng. I privately had someone investigate his background. When I learned that he was the paranoid who force – kissed Aheng back then, I became excited. Everything became interesting. I put the autographed book on a very conspicuous shelf in the study. Step by step, I guided Aheng to suspect Lu Zheng, and then reaped the benefits without effort. Everything was going according to my plan, except for Aheng. There was no me in her eyes, nor Xu Jiahe. Even though she suspected that Lu Zheng was the murderer, she didn’t leave him resolutely. Realizing that she liked Lu Zheng, I went crazy. I wanted to tear Lu Zheng apart bit by bit in front of her.
