“When Zhou Yang came back, I was smashing the wedding photos.
The glazed photo frames and crystal display stands were smashed into pieces by the ax I swung.
But I still wasn’t satisfied. I then lit the bound wedding photos on fire, turning them into ashes.
It seemed that only in this way could I dispel the resentment that had been pent up in my heart for so long.
Black thick smoke billowed with a pungent chemical smell.
Zhou Yang just stood quietly aside, watching coldly through the smoke and the orange firelight.
Over the years, he had always been like this.
Ignoring my feelings, my breakdowns, my pain, and my grievances.
It was not until those things were completely reduced to ashes that he finally looked up at me:
“Are you feeling better?
“If you are, come inside. It’s winter, and it’s cold outside.”
His tone was neither cold nor warm, as if my crazy behavior couldn’t touch his heart in the slightest.
I looked up at him and finally said the words I had held back for a long time:
“Zhou Yang, let’s get a divorce.”
1
His steps leaving stopped for a moment, and he didn’t say anything.
He just took out a cigarette, lit it, and exhaled a puff:
“All right.”
After saying this, he turned around and entered the villa.
2
All right.
All right.
These two simple words shattered me once again.
I stood there, my heart feeling like it had gone through a long, endless war of gunfire and smoke.
It was broken into pieces and then destroyed.
When he said to me, “I’m really attracted to you. Marry me, okay?” I thought I would be very happy.
I thought that my years of waiting and secret love would finally see the light of day.
He finally felt my sincerity, was moved by me, and chose to be with me.
But I never expected that entering marriage with him would be the beginning of the shattering of all my dreams.
Zhou Yang himself destroyed all my expectations and hopes for love.
3
When I had packed everything and was about to leave, Mianmian suddenly jumped out.
It was a pet rabbit that Zhou Yang gave me.
Every time I was sad, it was always by my side, a family member that comforted me.
It was always very quiet and gentle, staying obediently in the cage, not crying or making noise.
It was very much like what I used to be.
Perhaps sensing my departure, it lay on my feet, rolling into a small, furry ball, and its lips kept nibbling at my toes.
In this family, it seemed that only it would be reluctant to part with me.
I still picked it up.
Just then, Zhou Yang came out of the bathroom. He was wiping his wet hair, and water droplets rolled down from his pectoral muscles to his abdominal muscles.
The person in front of me still had that cold look like the moon in the sky.
It was his appearance of being an unattainable flower on a high mountain that attracted me at first sight.
Since then, in my eyes, only he was the one in my heart.
“I’m taking Mianmian with me. Do you have any objections?”
He didn’t say anything. He glanced at the suitcase beside me, then sat on the sofa and lit a cigarette:
“As you like.”
When I reached the door, he asked me again:
“Are you still going to Ruoyu’s birthday party?”
Ruoyu’s birthday was also mine.
But he never remembered, just like my mother.
In their world, they both had people they wanted to take good care of wholeheartedly.
And I was just a dispensable passer – by in their eyes, not worthy of a proper look.
“Isn’t it just right that I don’t go? After all, you and Ruoyu are the perfect couple written about by the media, a match made in heaven, a handsome man and a beautiful woman.
“And I’m just an ordinary, incompetent woman who can only get angry and be jealous. I’m the annoying existence that affects your ‘happy ending’!”
He still didn’t say anything, just continued to blow smoke rings.
Only when he caught a glimpse of the divorce agreement on the coffee table did he slightly pause, almost imperceptibly.
Until I walked out of the door, he didn’t say another word.
4
I moved to a small courtyard house that I had bought in Yuncheng in advance.
Just as I had settled everything, I received a call from the airline.
They said that during the transportation, Mianmian died because it was frightened.
“We’re sorry, Ms. Xin. Regarding the subsequent handling of the pet, we will bear all the losses for you.”
On the other end of the phone, the customer service staff had their usual standardized sincerity and apology.
My eyes went blank for a moment, but I still said:
“Then please help it find a place with plenty of sunshine. It likes to sunbathe.”
Perhaps not expecting my reaction to be so calm, the other side was silent for a few seconds before replying:
“Okay, Ms. Xin.”
After hanging up the phone, I numbly searched in the suitcase, various express boxes, and storage bags, trying to find something to relieve the pain.
When I was carrying the suitcase into the door just now, I accidentally twisted my waist.
When I finally found a plaster and was about to stick it on in front of the fitting mirror, there was a sudden “bang” in the room, and the power went out.
In the darkness, I couldn’t see anything.
I instinctively wanted to grab something to hold on to, but I accidentally broke something.
The sound of shattering amplified infinitely in the silent night.
The taut string in my mind finally broke at this moment.
I burst into loud tears.
The broken things were just like my rotten life.
My mother didn’t love me, my best friend didn’t love me, and my husband didn’t love me either.
Even Mianmian, the only one who was loyal to me, left me in this way.
I couldn’t figure out why this was happening. Why did everyone treat me like this?
They asked me to consider the overall situation, consider the future of the Zhou family, consider Zhou Yang’s situation, and consider all the decency.
But no one ever cared about how I would feel.
Whether I was in pain, sad, heartbroken, or wronged.
Everything had been in chaos since Ruoyu returned to the country.
5
I don’t know when I fell asleep on the bed.
Early the next morning, I was woken up by a knock on the door.
When I opened the door, it was an old man with gray hair and a kind face.
He was holding a box of flower pastries for me: “Last night, I heard that someone had moved in here, so I, on behalf of the old people in our courtyard, came to visit you, the new neighbor.
“Did the power outage last night scare you?”
Perhaps seeing the confusion and incomprehension on my face, the old man immediately introduced himself:
“My name is Lin Qingzheng, and I’m the director of the nursing home next door.
“If you need anything, you can come to us.”
The old man was gentle and kind. For some reason, when I heard the words “come to us”, my nose felt a little sour.
In the depths of my memory, it seemed that no one had ever said such words to me.
I adjusted my emotions and smiled, accepting the old man’s kindness.
After tidying myself up, I also prepared a gift and went to the nursing home next door.
The nursing home was a small – to – medium – sized square courtyard. When Director Lin saw me coming, he welcomed me warmly.
“Quick, sit down. I’ll get you a glass of water.”
I nodded to him and then turned my gaze to a new piano in their courtyard.
“This was donated by a charity organization. They said it was for us to cultivate our musical sentiment.
“It’s a pity that no one here can play the piano…”
After coming out of the pantry and handing me the water, seeing my curiosity, the director explained to me.
“I’ll give it a try.”
I sat down and immediately started playing “The Dream Wedding”.
The music soon attracted the other old people in the rooms.
They all came to the courtyard and gathered around me.
After the song was over, the old people applauded one after another.
Director Lin then invited me to teach everyone to play the piano.
I thought about it and agreed.
Just as I got up, a middle – aged woman suddenly rushed out of the room in front of me.
She came up and tightly held my hand: “You’re Xiaoyan, aren’t you Xiaoyan!”
I was a bit stunned. Director Lin immediately explained to me:
“She’s Aunt Zhan. When she was young, she brought her son and daughter to travel around here. Unfortunately, her daughter accidentally fell into the water and died.
“Aunt Zhan blames herself very much. After that, she got mental illness and insists that her daughter didn’t die but was missing. She believes that as long as she stays here, she can wait for her daughter to come back.
“It is said that her daughter played the piano very well. Her family has come to pick her up several times, but she refuses to go back. Sigh…”
I felt very sorry after hearing this.
Aunt Zhan looked at me, and in her eyes, there was a kind of almost fanatical joy of regaining something lost.
I was a bit moved for a moment and really couldn’t bear to say the words “You’ve got the wrong person”.
So, I held her hand and said:
“Yes, it’s me, Mom. I’m back.”
6
When I returned to my residence at night, I received a message from Ruoyu:
“”I heard that you and Zhou Yang got a divorce? Is it because of me?””
“”Don’t be impulsive. Even if he liked me, it was in the past. We’re just in a pure cooperative relationship now.””
She then sent a photo.
“”Look, I’m trying to persuade him for you. Don’t worry, he’ll come back to apologize to you and beg for your forgiveness soon.””
I looked at the photo. In it was the restaurant that I had said in my WeChat moments that I wanted to go to with Zhou Yang.
Later, because Zhou Yang didn’t have time for various reasons, we never got to go.
But now, Zhou Yang could accompany her to sit in the best and hardest – to – reserve seat in that restaurant.
In the photo, she also inadvertently showed the pink diamond bracelet that Zhou Yang gave her.
That pink diamond bracelet was originally supposed to be a birthday gift from Zhou Yang to me.
The day before my birthday, Ruoyu had filmed a life – and – death scene and couldn’t get out of the role. Zhou Yang, in order to comfort her, gave her that pink diamond bracelet as a birthday gift.
And that time, Zhou Yang completely forgot my birthday in order to comfort her.
After that, he never remembered my birthday again.
I scrolled through these messages without replying.
Not long after, Zhou Yang also sent me a message:
“”The grilled fish in this restaurant is good. I want to bring you here to try it next time.””
“”The necklace you’ve been waiting for a long time, I’ve already found someone to buy it. The express will arrive home today.””
This was a sign of Zhou Yang’s reconciliation.
Every time we quarreled, he was like this.
Buy me a gift, take me to a nice restaurant, and then take some “intense offensive” towards me at night to show his reconciliation.
And I would always give in because I couldn’t resist his “persistent will”, and eventually, things would end up unresolved.
He probably thought that I would forgive him this time as before.
But never again.
It was really quite ironic.
These two people, one was provoking me, and the other was trying to make peace with me.
Over the years, I had been caught in this situation between them countless times.
I was really fed up with that kind of inner – consuming emotion that constantly fluctuated between “he cares about me” and “he doesn’t care about me”.
Without thinking, I directly blocked the contact information of both of them.
7
Life in the nursing home was very fulfilling. Accompanying the old people and getting along with them simply and purely made me feel very content.
On the weekend, when I went to find Aunt Zhan with the music score I had written, there was a strange man standing in the courtyard.
The man had some resemblance to Aunt Zhan between his brows. His features were sharp, his aura was strong, and he was extremely handsome.
Judging from his dress and demeanor, he was obviously a wealthy person.
“This is Chen Heng, Aunt Zhan’s son.”
Director Lin introduced to me.
Chen Heng stood beside Aunt Zhan, looking at me with eyes full of exploration and scrutiny.
When he heard Aunt Zhan call me “Xiaoyan”, his brows slightly furrowed, but he remained silent.
In the evening, the old people were all active in the courtyard, and he took the opportunity to come over and chat with me when I was alone in the kitchen.
“I just watched the video my mother sent me of you playing the piano. I think it’s really good.
“With your level, teaching the old people here is a bit of a waste of talent.”
His tone seemed to be a combination of appreciation and regret.
But I also heard the hidden exploration in his words.
So, I smiled lightly at him and said: “Don’t worry, I have no ulterior motives towards Aunt Zhan. I just simply sympathize with a mother who has lost her child.
“Because I’ve also lost a child, that’s all.”
He seemed not to expect me to be so straightforward.
First, he was stunned, and then he looked at me with an apologetic expression: “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.
“It’s just that my mother is my only family member, so I’m a bit cautious.”
“I understand.”
After a few words, we both fell into silence.
After a while, Director Lin suddenly walked in. He came up and grabbed me:
“Xinxin, there’s someone looking for you outside. They say they’re your family. Go and have a look…”
I wiped my hands on the apron, took it off, and as soon as I walked out of the door, I saw an elegant and noble middle – aged woman sitting on a chair in the courtyard, looking around with her eyes.
Director Lin kindly poured her a glass of water, but she just took it politely and placed it on the round table beside her, never taking a sip.
And Aunt Zhan was looking at her with a puzzled face.
When she saw me coming out, Aunt Zhan quickly grabbed my hand: “Xiaoyan, quickly say that you’re my daughter!
“She insists that she’s your mother, but she’s not, she’s not…”
I comforted Aunt Zhan and signaled to Chen Heng. Chen Heng immediately understood.
After seeing him comfort Aunt Zhan and take her into the house, I followed my mother out of the nursing home.
“Are you out of your mind? What have I always told you? You actually took out the divorce agreement and even dared to run away from home for so long!
“Who gave you the courage? Go back quickly!”
Without any beating around the bush, after walking out of the gate, my mother came up and grabbed my ear, scolding me.
“I’m not going back!” I broke free from her hand and looked at her, rubbing my ear.
“I’m doing well here. Don’t bother. There’s no possibility between me and Zhou Yang anymore. Don’t waste your efforts!”
“How did I raise such a useless daughter like you…”
My mother’s words were interrupted when an electric tricycle passed by, raising a cloud of dust.
She directly waved her hand and covered her nose with her index finger, looking disgusted: “This shabby place, how can you stand to stay here!
“I’m telling you, even if Zhou Yang cheated, so what? Men of his status are all like this. In the end, it’s your fault for not being able to keep the child and letting your so – called best friend take advantage of the situation.”
That child was a thorn in my heart.
Hearing this, I didn’t say anything, just remained silent.
“I know I’m not good at speaking, but I’m doing this for your own good.
“Besides, it’s just one lost child, right?”
After saying that, she came up and grabbed me again, with a seemingly well – meaning expression:
“Don’t worry, I’ve found a secret recipe through someone. It will ensure that you and Zhou Yang can have a child right away. Once you have a child, no matter how he plays around outside, he will be concerned because of the child!”
It was the same again, always the same.
She never asked me what I wanted, what grievances I had suffered, or what harm I had endured.
She would only impose her will on me according to her own ideas.
Since she remarried, she had never cared about me.
I was bullied, being pointed at and called a child of a mistress.
She never cared, never cared about the new wounds on my body from being bullied, and ignored my feelings of collapse and crying.
She would just turn a blind eye and ask me to be obedient, to endure, and not to embarrass her.
She only cared about whether the son she gave birth to could help her maintain her status in the Song family.
She only cared about whether my marriage could benefit her social status.
I angrily shook her off, “I’ve made it clear to you. I don’t love him anymore. I don’t want to be with him!”
“Are you really doing this for my good? Aren’t you just eyeing the wealth and power of the Zhou family? What? The son you had in your new husband’s family is useless? Isn’t the Zhou family enough? Do you have to trample on me like this?”
“Slap!” My mother slapped me.
“Is this how I taught you? You ungrateful thing! You must come with me today. Even if you die, you can only die in the Zhou family.”
She grabbed my hand without any scruples and tried to drag me towards the black Bentley parked nearby.
I struggled desperately, “I’m not going!”
“She said she’s not going. Didn’t you hear?”
Chen Heng suddenly appeared and blocked my mother.
“Who are you? What business is it of yours to meddle in my family affairs?”
“Ms. Meng Zhilan, right? Please convey my greetings to your husband, Mr. Song Guowei, the president of the Song Group.” Chen Heng said as he handed out a business card.
After reading the card, my mother’s eyes froze for a moment.
Her imposing manner suddenly weakened.
She looked at me meaningfully, “You’re quite capable, it seems I can’t take you away today.”
After saying that, she curiously sized up Chen Heng several times, said nothing more, and then turned and left.
8
“Are you okay?”
Chen Heng looked at my face and asked.
The swelling and pain on my face were still spreading. Remembering my mother’s snobbish look just now, I felt extremely embarrassed and just turned my face away, remaining silent.
“My mother was worried about you, so she asked me to come and check.
“I didn’t mean to intrude.”
He seemed to see through my actions and quickly explained.
“It’s okay. Anyway, nothing could be worse than this.”
I raised my head towards him, “I’ll go back and apply some medicine. Don’t tell Aunt Zhan that I’m hurt.”
Chen Heng nodded and turned back to the nursing home.
I returned to my residence, took out some ice cubes and applied them to my face.
While waiting for the swelling to go down, an unknown number called:
“You didn’t come back with mom?”
I knew this voice all too well.
Who else could it be but Zhou Yang?
These days, he was busy attending various events with Ruoyu. The news and hot searches were all filled with their ambiguous interactions.
At the same time, he kept sending me those friendly messages using new numbers.
And now, obviously, he couldn’t spare the time to come to me, so he tried to get my mother to come as a lobbyist to make me go back.
I skipped over his question and directly asked, “Have you signed the divorce agreement?”
He hung up the phone immediately without answering my question.
I stared at the screen for a few seconds, sneered, and then directly blocked that number.
In the following days, I went on as usual, teaching the old people in the nursing home to play the piano.
At the same time, I accompanied Aunt Zhan as “Xiaoyan”. Aunt Zhan became significantly more cheerful.
Chen Heng came by from time to time. Because of Aunt Zhan’s increased smiles, his attitude towards me gradually improved, and he even started chatting with me about daily life.
The heavy and damp knots in my heart gradually faded away with these simple and warm days.
The day before Christmas Eve, after participating in an activity at the nursing home, I returned home. Suddenly, there was another power outage.
I skillfully went to get a ladder to check the electrical box outside the door, but I lost my footing on the ladder, and my body quickly fell backward.
But the next second, I fell into a warm embrace.
“Are you okay?”
It was Chen Heng.
“I… I’m okay.”
I tried to stand up quickly but twisted my foot again.
Chen Heng supported me again, “Don’t move for now to avoid secondary injury.”
In the darkness, he held my hand tightly.
And I, because of the pain in my foot, had a slight sweat on my palm.
Perhaps sensing my discomfort, he directly picked me up in his arms.
“I, I’m okay. You, you don’t need to…”
But he seemed not to hear and still carried me towards the house.
Maybe because we were both startled just now.
With my ear against his chest, I could hear his heart beating faster.
And in the night, looking at his side face, somehow, I also felt a bit hot and flushed.
“What are you two doing?”
Suddenly, a familiar voice sounded.
Chen Heng and I looked in the direction of the voice simultaneously.
Zhou Yang was standing at the door, looking at us coldly.
9
His gaze swept from top to bottom, lingering between my slightly red face and Chen Heng’s arm around me.
On his usually expressionless face, there finally appeared cracks that gradually expanded and got out of control.
He angrily stepped forward and forcefully pulled Chen Heng away.
“Who allowed you to touch her!”
I fell on the steps due to losing my support.
But Zhou Yang seemed not to notice. Like a man who had lost his mind, he swung a punch at Chen Heng.
Chen Heng glanced at me with concern in his eyes, then quickly grabbed Zhou Yang’s hands from behind and pushed him hard.
Zhou Yang staggered and fell to the ground.
Chen Heng immediately turned around to help me up, “How are you? Are you okay?”
I shook my head at him and reached out to touch the blood at the corner of his mouth.
“I’m okay, but you, you’re hurt here!”
But this action seemed to touch something in Zhou Yang. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him get up and come over again with a menacing look.
Seeing that his fist was about to swing down again, I slapped him directly:
“Are you crazy, Zhou Yang!”
Zhou Yang stared at me in shock, frozen in place.
As if he couldn’t believe that I had just slapped him.
He stared straight at me. After a long while, he looked at Chen Heng beside me and suddenly laughed.
“No wonder even mom couldn’t persuade you to come back.
“So… is it because of him?”
I directly ignored his gaze and said coldly, “I need to remind you that we’re already divorced.”
“But I haven’t signed the divorce agreement yet!”
His voice suddenly rose, and he stared at me intently.
“Without completing the divorce procedures, our marriage is still valid.
“You’re having an affair now, do you know that, Xin Xin!”
10
Having an affair! Having an affair!
How dare he use this word on me!
What right does he have to accuse me like this!
Hearing his threatening question, the anger that had been hidden and suppressed in my heart suddenly flared up again.
“Zhou Yang, the last person in this world who has the right to talk to me about ‘having an affair’ is you!”
I suppressed my emotions and signaled to Chen Heng.
Chen Heng immediately understood, “I’ll be right next door. If you need anything, just call me.”
After leaving these words, he walked out of the yard.
I looked directly at Zhou Yang, my eyes cold.
“Do you want to settle the ‘having an affair’ account with me now?
“Then I’ll calculate it clearly for you now!”
I turned on my phone, brought up the pictures and texts, and showed them to him one by one.
On New Year’s Eve, Zhou Yang took Ruoyu to watch the fireworks. She naturally leaned into his arms, and they looked at each other and smiled.
On Valentine’s Day, Zhou Yang carried the drunk Ruoyu into the car. She grabbed his collar and whispered drunken words close to his ear.
On our wedding anniversary, Zhou Yang and Ruoyu were in the same hotel room. She was wearing a bathrobe and clinking a wine glass with him.
“And the day I smashed the wedding photos and took out the divorce agreement, you still went to Ruoyu’s birthday party. She kissed your side face on the rooftop, and there were drones forming the word ‘love’ in the night sky behind you!”
…
I scrolled through one by one and read them out word by word.
All these contents were from Ruoyu’s WeChat moments, which were only visible to me.
I used to wonder why my childhood best friend would do this to me.
But later I understood.
Because in Ruoyu’s eyes, I was just a “thief” who “took advantage of the situation”.
After all, from the beginning, she and he were the ones who liked each other.
“If your definition of having an affair is physical contact between a man and a woman.
“Then in my eyes, you’re already beyond redemption, Zhou Yang!”
Zhou Yang stood there, listening to my almost gritted – teeth accusation.
His face was full of shock, but he still tried to explain, “Ruoyu and I, it’s all for the Zhou…”
“Don’t tell me it’s for the Zhou family anymore! The Zhou family has nothing to do with me now!
“What kind of thoughts you really have for her, do you think I don’t understand?
“Do you two really think I’m a fool?!”
11
The three of us, Zhou Yang, Ruoyu, and I, grew up together.
Ruoyu’s family background was not very good, so both in school, when it came to living expenses, and after entering society, when it came to work resources, Zhou Yang and I would help her.
Ruoyu was beautiful and had an outgoing personality. Due to various concerns, Zhou Yang’s feelings for her were always hidden.
But I could see clearly that Ruoyu also had some affection for Zhou Yang.
Originally, I just wanted to bury my secret love for Zhou Yang in the passage of time.
But unexpectedly, a year after graduating from university, Ruoyu was suddenly discovered by a talent agency.
The company required her to go to the foreign market for training first, gain some experience, and then return to China. The return date was uncertain.
So, Zhou Yang confessed his love to her before she went abroad.
But Ruoyu didn’t accept it and resolutely chose her future.
Later, something happened to Zhou Yang’s family. His parents and elder brother died in a car accident.
The Zhou Group was in chaos immediately.
Zhou Yang, who had been protected by his family since childhood, knew nothing about company management.
The shareholders within the company were eyeing the situation covetously, and the external competitors were all eager to take action.
The Zhou Group became a mess under Zhou Yang’s management.
And at this time, Ruoyu returned to China with great success.
She resolutely terminated her contract with the original company and joined Zhou Yang’s company.
This was undoubtedly a timely help for Zhou Yang.
On the first day Ruoyu signed with the Zhou Group, the company’s stock price directly hit the daily limit.
At that time, it was the second year of my marriage to Zhou Yang.
For a struggling entertainment company, having a top – tier star with a huge popularity gap was like a life – saving straw.
Ruoyu single – handedly revived Zhou Yang’s company.
The Zhou Group needed Ruoyu to hold it up.
So, Zhou Yang needed her.
They would often attend various public events together for the sake of traffic and topics.
Even if some ambiguous behaviors were caught by the media, they would just say it was their long – standing way of getting along since childhood.
The public relations work was impeccable.
But only I knew the undercurrents hidden beneath the surface between them.
They could openly enjoy their boundary – crossing and ambiguity, completely ignoring my sadness and loss.
It was all because they had a reasonable and legitimate excuse of “for the Zhou Group”.
“So what if you don’t sign the divorce agreement? What’s the point?
“We have no reason to continue. You don’t love me at all, do you?”
Zhou Yang didn’t say anything more. He just furrowed his brows tightly and clenched his fists.
As if he was suppressing and brewing something.
After waiting for a while, he finally spoke as if baring his heart:
“Isn’t it good for the three of us to maintain this way?”
12
Damn!
For a moment, I even suspected that I was hallucinating.
Was what he said even human?
“The Zhou Group needs Ruoyu, and I need you.
“I can’t let go of her, and I can’t leave you either.”
He finally looked up at me, his eyes tinged with a bit of pleading.
“Xin Xin, you once said that no matter what, you would always be by my side.”
I did say this.
It was when a huge accident happened to Zhou Yang’s family.
During that time, he couldn’t get out of the pain of losing his family. His emotions were very unstable, and he even had suicidal thoughts.
Afraid that he would do something stupid, I was constantly on edge.
I was trying to stabilize the shareholders of the Zhou Group while staying by his side day and night, carefully paying attention to his emotional state and taking care of his daily life.
At that time, I also told Ruoyu about the accident in Zhou Yang’s family.
But in order to focus on her dream – chasing, during the whole process of the Zhou family’s accident, apart from sending a symbolic condolence message, she never contacted Zhou Yang again.
A person’s energy is limited after all.
When I saw the self – harm scars on Zhou Yang’s wrist, I couldn’t hold back my emotions.
A person who had always been so bright, sunny, and outstanding in my eyes.
Suddenly became like that.
It was an uncontrollable, almost heart – breaking pain.
So at that moment, I hugged him tightly and comforted him:
“Don’t be afraid, Zhou Yang.
“You still have me. No matter what happens, I will never leave you.”
That night, I accompanied him to drink a lot of wine.
When we were drunk and unconscious, he had a high fever.
I stayed by his side, feeding him medicine and changing his towel.
At that moment, he looked at me motionlessly and suddenly said to me:
“Xin Xin, I’m really attracted to you.
“So, marry me, okay?”
As he spoke, he tightly held my hand, as if he was really afraid of losing me.
When you really like someone, it can’t be hidden.
I had been by Zhou Yang’s side for so many years. How could he not feel my carefully hidden, humble and adoring feelings for him?
But at that moment, I looked into his eyes.
Greedy, passionate, sincere, and vulnerable.
I thought it was his true feelings after drinking.
I thought that when people are at their most vulnerable, what they say is the truth.
I thought that I had really entered his heart.
Later, I realized that it was just a self – hypnosis of “falling in love with me” out of gratitude.
In his most desperate and helpless moment, he tried to get a family member who would never leave him through marriage.
“Zhou Yang, you can’t be so selfish! I’m not that great to tolerate another person in my marriage all the time.
“Leave. I don’t want to see you again.”
13
“I won’t leave.
“Xin Xin, I’ll stay here until you change your mind.”
Zhou Yang didn’t leave. He stubbornly wanted to stay at my place.
I ignored him.
Anyway, I had plenty of ways to make him go back.
Sure enough, less than two hours later, he received a call.
When he rushed to the door, he still wanted to explain something to me.
At that time, I was sitting in the living room, composing music using the piano keys on the tablet, not giving him any attention at all.
He finally didn’t say anything and just left silently.
Not long after that day, Ruoyu also found me.
Because of her special status, she invited me to a high – end restaurant not far from the county.
On the way to meet her, it suddenly rained.
When I entered the private room, my body was a bit wet from the rain, and my cheeks were red from the cold.
Ruoyu saw me, first looked me up and down, then adjusted the luxury shawl on her body, and greeted me:
“You’re here.”
She didn’t stand up until I got closer.
She just told the waiter beside her to pull out a chair for me, let me sit down, and then asked them to pour me a glass of water.
“Xin Xin, look at you. Why don’t you even know to bring an umbrella?
“Having gone through a miscarriage, and yet still making such a mess of herself, it’s really heartbreaking to see.”
She deliberately exposed my scars in front of me. As she spoke, she took a sip of tea.
She never looked up.
I held my temper and replied calmly, “Don’t bother, top – tier star.
“Speaking of my miscarriage, I really have to thank you. It was so coincidental that you fell off the wire that day.”
Some things, when you think about them later, always give you a sense of hindsight.
Not long after Ruoyu returned to China, I found out that I was pregnant.
Because my menstrual cycle was irregular, and at that time, all my energy was focused on Zhou Yang. Also, I was originally thin and small.
By the time we found out, the baby was almost four months old.
I remember that day, on the way to the hospital for a check – up, Zhou Yang happily shared the news with Ruoyu on the phone.
On the other end of the phone, Ruoyu paused for a moment, and then she smiled and congratulated me.
But as soon as we arrived at the hospital entrance, Zhou Yang received a call from the crew.
They said that Ruoyu had fallen off the wire and was just taken away by an ambulance.
Zhou Yang was so anxious that he didn’t think straight.
He dropped me off the car. When he closed the door, he didn’t even notice that my scarf was caught in the door.
At that time, it was a snowy day in Beicheng.
When he quickly started the car and stepped on the accelerator, I didn’t even have time to remind him. I was directly dragged and slipped.
The scarf was slowly pulled off my neck.
And Zhou Yang’s car drove further and further away.
He didn’t notice me at all, left far behind him.
And the blood slowly seeping out from between my legs.
After being pushed out of the operating room, the first news I saw was the picture of Zhou Yang carrying the sprained Ruoyu from the hospital into the car.
That was the first time I deeply experienced what it meant to be in extreme pain.
It was also at that moment that I began to realize that this dream about Zhou Yang should end.
“However, come to think of it, I should also thank you. At least it makes it easier for me to get a divorce from Zhou Yang without an extra bond.”
Her expression paused, and then she smiled again, “Don’t be ridiculous.I don’t know about others, but I know you well.
“Do you really want to divorce him? If so, why would you send me this?”
She took out her phone, pulled up the chat record, and then pushed it in front of me.
It was a photo that I sent to Ruoyu.
That day, in order to make Zhou Yang leave, I deliberately took a photo of him sitting on the sofa in my living room, removed Ruoyu from my blocked list, and sent it to her.
I knew that Ruoyu would definitely create some “accidents” to make him go back.
And for Zhou Yang, Ruoyu always came first, without exception.
In fact, before I came, I already understood her intention—
She wanted to confirm whether I really wanted to divorce Zhou Yang.
I heard that that night, Zhou Yang stood her up for the first time just to come to find me.
And the photo I sent her made her feel even more threatened.
Thinking of this, I suddenly felt that her calm and composed appearance now was rather deliberately disguised.
So, I didn’t answer her question but just looked at her with an amused expression.
“Xin Xin, do you know what I’ve hated most about you from the past until now?”
Perhaps because she felt my gaze, or maybe because she realized that her thoughts had been seen through.
She suddenly looked up at me, a bit defenseless.
“What I hate most is your duplicity, your hypocritical look!
“If you really wanted to divorce him, you would have done it after the miscarriage. Why drag it until now?”
14
In fact, on the first day I was hospitalized after the miscarriage, I sent a message to Zhou Yang:
“Zhou Yang, let’s get a divorce.”
But perhaps because I had just finished the operation and was affected by my emotions, so I wasn’t fully conscious.
Or maybe because Ruoyu’s WeChat avatar was very similar to Zhou Yang’s, that message was directly sent to Ruoyu.
By the time I found out, the message couldn’t be withdrawn, and she didn’t reply.
Just the next day, a little – known lawyer who specialized in divorce cases came to the hospital to find me.
Even though I really had the thought of getting a divorce, I still felt offended by this uninvited guest who came without my permission.
So I refused the lawyer’s kindness at that time.
But because of this, the news that I was going to divorce Zhou Yang spread quickly.
Some media, combining Zhou Yang and Ruoyu’s daily interactions, began to speculate whether the breakdown of the Zhou family’s head’s marriage was related to Qin Ruoyu.
Because the Zhou Group couldn’t bear any negative public opinion about Ruoyu, and also because Zhou Yang’s marriage was related to the stock price of the Zhou Group.
So later, while I was still in the hospital, relatives, shareholders, and even core employees who benefited from the Zhou family came to the hospital to see me one after another under various pretexts.
They tactfully expressed that the Zhou Group was at a critical stage and that I couldn’t divorce him at this time.
They tried to persuade me earnestly, asking me to weigh the pros and cons and consider the overall situation.
They came with their own purposes one by one and then left in a hurry.
He didn’t even know that I was hospitalized because of a miscarriage.
Some of the gifts they brought were actually crabs that miscarriage patients couldn’t eat.
During the whole period of my confinement after the miscarriage, I was frequently bothered.
And when my mother learned about this news, she directly checked me out of the hospital in advance and took me to a villa in the suburbs under the name of the Song family.
She said it was to let me have a good rest.
But as soon as I moved in, she confiscated all my communication tools and arranged for people to keep a strict eye on me, not allowing me to leave the villa at all.
“You stay here, take good care of your body, and reflect on yourself.
“I’ll see if you dare to divorce the Zhou family again!”
What was Zhou Yang doing at that time?
He accompanied Ruoyu to recover from her foot injury, and then closely accompanied her to participate in various fashion weeks and film festivals abroad, and took her to travel around Europe.
After they had a great time and came back, Zhou Yang finally learned that our child was gone.
The day he took me back from my mother, I had been tortured by the fear of being imprisoned for days and was in a terrible state.
Later, he proposed to me again in front of the reporters, took me to retake the wedding photos, and took the initiative to contact the wedding company, saying that he would hold a make – up wedding for me.
I numbly accepted his guilty compensation.
He also said that after this stage passed, he would terminate the contract with Ruoyu.
He repeatedly assured me that from then on, he wouldn’t let me be wronged again.
But I waited and waited, and what I waited for was that the media started to promote the romantic feeling between him and Ruoyu.
Those netizens who believed that “appearance is justice” dug out the photos of me with a pale face after the miscarriage and attacked me personally.
They said that I had neither good looks nor abilities and that I didn’t deserve to be the CEO’s wife of the Zhou Group.
They said that Ruoyu and Zhou Yang were a perfect match, a handsome man and a beautiful woman.
They said that I was just using the miscarriage to morally blackmail Zhou Yang.
They also said that I was an eyesore standing between him and Ruoyu.
In fact, I knew that since the news that my marriage with Zhou Yang was at risk came out, some shareholders of the Zhou Group had already started to guide public opinion and pave the way for Ruoyu.
And Zhou Yang knew all about these actions.
The reason he didn’t stop it was just because of my words “No matter what happens, I will never leave you.”
The breaking point was the press conference for the signing of the contract between him and Ruoyu.
He indeed didn’t renew the agency contract with Ruoyu, because Ruoyu directly became a shareholder of the Zhou Group.
They continued to be tied to each other in another, more closely related way.
And from beginning to end, I was kept in the dark.
After Ruoyu signed the contract, Zhou Yang even said directly to the reporters:
“She is the most important person in my life.”
“The most important person.”
What a profound definition.
When I saw this sentence, I was unpacking the wedding photos that had been delayed in delivery.
The affectionate postures and smiles on those photos.
Suddenly became one by one disgusting and ironic expressions in front of me.
I finally exploded completely, found the ax in the toolbox, dragged the photos to the yard.
And smashed them hard.
Hit them hard.
People seem to only grow up through paying a price.
Wasn’t it just that I couldn’t bear to part with the sunk cost that I had spent so many years on?
Wasn’t it just that I was unwilling to quit like this and fulfill Ruoyu’s wish, making myself look like a loser?
Wasn’t it just that he was the white moonlight I had secretly loved for years?
After all, it was just a man.
Why should I torture myself like this, humiliate myself like this, and make myself look like a joke?
After thinking this through.
I finally realized that letting go was just a matter of an instant.
It turned out that letting go was really easy.
15
That day’s conversation with Ruoyu didn’t end happily.
She didn’t stay long because of her schedule.
After that, I continued to stay in the nursing home, accompany Aunt Zhan and several old people, play the piano, and be a volunteer.
But over these days, the old people in the yard more or less guessed that I had some unhappy past.
However, they all tacitly kept silent and never took the initiative to ask me.
Later, inspired by Aunt Zhan’s experience, I wrote a piano piece from the emotional perspective of a mother who had lost her child.
And I named that piece “Xiaoyan”.
After I played it in the yard, all the old people applauded for me, and Aunt Zhan beside me burst into tears.
During these days, with the help of Chen Heng and everyone, Aunt Zhan’s mental state gradually improved.
She had already realized that I wasn’t Xiaoyan.
And her Xiaoyan had already gone to a place far, far away.
Director Lin learned how to use live streaming on his mobile phone.
When he learned that I had won the championship in an international piano competition before, he insisted on using mobile phone live streaming to hold a live release conference for my newly composed piece.
On the day that was set, all the old people in the yard were busy for me.
Grandma Lin, who knew tailoring, took my measurements and made a dress for me.
Aunt Zhao, who was good at makeup and hairstyling, did my hair and makeup for me.
And Grandpa Song, who could drive, in order to add a sense of ceremony for me, deliberately rented a high – end car in the town, drove from my home, went around the small county, and then sent me to the nursing home.
There were colorful lights hanging on the grape trellis in the yard. On the wall right behind the piano, there was a banner written by Grandpa Ge, who was good at calligraphy, which said “Personal Concert of Ms. Xin Xin, a Piano Performer”.
On that day, there were also two grandpas, Grandpa Xu and Grandpa Shen, who had learned broadcasting and hosting before. After a long time, they put on suits again for me.
They stood in front of the mobile phone camera and announced the program for me in clear and standard pronunciation.
I looked at this group of lovely people in the yard.
Something warm was flowing in my heart.
They made me feel for the first time in my life.
That I was being cared for and loved like this.
Days passed like this one by one.
In the spring of the second year, I finally officially released the recorded “Xiaoyan” online.
Within less than a week, “Xiaoyan” became extremely popular because of its strong emotional expression. It had over 100 million views on the short video platform and went viral.
And because of this, I started to receive invitations for solo concerts and endorsement offers, and even some production teams wanted to find me to act in dramas while I was hot.
I didn’t reject any of these opportunities.
Life shouldn’t set limits for itself.
I should seize every opportunity that might be beneficial to me.
But there were always people who didn’t want me to have a good time. When I was rejected by film crews three times in a row, I finally sensed something unusual.
So, I found Chen Heng:
“Could you do me a favor?”
16
Ruoyu came to find me a week later.
She came in a hurry but still looked at me with an arrogant look:
“Xin Xin, what do you mean?”
A week ago, I sent her the information about some of her “past” that had been hidden abroad.
The content and scale involved were enough to completely ruin her image in the entertainment industry and make it impossible for her to turn over.
This time, it was my turn to take a sip of tea and look at her.
“Nothing much. It’s just that I happened to meet a paparazzo who wanted to expose these things about you. Out of our old friendship, I bought it from him.”
She was half – believing and half – doubting, as if she didn’t believe that I would be so kind: “Really?”
I didn’t say yes or no.
Of course it was false.
That evidence was something I specially asked Chen Heng to help me investigate.
What I wanted was to let her also experience the state of mind of being worried about gains and losses and being on tenterhooks.
After that day when I met her, when facing various interviews, I always liked to talk about her past without mentioning her name, saying some ambiguous words.
On social platforms, I also liked to post some metaphorical texts containing the characters “Ru” or “Yu”.
I was insinuating that some people were two – faced and morally corrupt.
Let the netizens guess and speculate.
People who have done something wrong will always become especially sensitive and cautious at this time.
She specially set up a team to monitor my every move in the public eye.
Whenever there was any sign of trouble, even if it wasn’t about me, they were very vigilant.
They would carry out public relations at every turn and send lawyer’s letters casually.
And these abnormal behaviors did have some impact on her reputation. Some partners simply refused to cooperate with her because she was “too troublesome”.
Under the situation of being continuously “teased” by me and losing resources one after another, her state of mind became more and more unstable.
Even at some important occasions, she would often be distracted and lose her composure.
Once people climb very high, they are extremely afraid of falling down one day.
What I had to do was to hold a boomerang that might hit her back at any time.
Slowly, bit by bit, torture her state of mind.
Let her be confused and unable to control the situation.
Finally, the day after I posted a Weibo suggesting that she was “morally corrupt”, Qin Ruoyu couldn’t bear it anymore.
She rushed to my home like crazy, grabbed my collar as soon as she came up:
“What exactly do you want? Are you happy torturing me like this?
“Even if I seduced your husband, so what? Zhou Yang has always liked me from the beginning to the end!
“In this relationship, you’re the ‘thief’, you’re the third party!”
“Ruoyu, you might want to calm down first…”
I originally wanted to remind her kindly that there was my mobile phone set up behind her.
But she became more and more excited and out of control:
“I won’t calm down! Why should I calm down! Have you people from the upper class ever really experienced the difficulties of people like us?
“Even if I stopped you from getting film resources, so what? It was all forced by people like you!
“You and Zhou Yang are the same. You’ve never looked up to me!
“When we were at school, did you really want to help me? It was nothing but you showing off your more social resources in a disguised way. You just wanted to satisfy your sense of superiority by giving alms!
“You’ve never really taken me seriously!
“If you really valued me, why didn’t Zhou Yang directly let the Zhou Group sign me up to debut?
“If you valued me, why didn’t you directly let me go to your stepfather’s company?
“The reason you didn’t do these things is that you just didn’t want me to live better than you!
“What if I traded my body for resources? What if I took shortcuts by any means? I got them through my own efforts!
“Why are you dissatisfied? Why do you still threaten and torture me with this?
“I just enjoy the feeling of you being surpassed by me and being played by me in the palm of my hand!”
I never knew that in Ruoyu’s eyes, she thought of me and Zhou Yang like this.
These words were later put on the internet intact.
Because at that time, I was having a live piano exchange online.
The scene of her going crazy was completely recorded.
In an instant, she became notorious.
Consequently, her TV dramas were taken off the air, her endorsements were cancelled, she was removed from the cast of film crews, and her scenes in variety shows were cut or mosaiced…
The downfall of a top star only took such a short moment.
17
Because of Ruoyu, some other problems of the Zhou Group were also exposed.
Tax loopholes, sky – high liquidated damages, and artists being forced to commit suicide…
One negative news about the Zhou Group after another came one after another like a butterfly effect.
In just one night, the Zhou Group, which was a hot and promising entertainment company in the industry just a second ago, saw its stock price plummet and its market value evaporated by billions.
It showed a trend of irreversible decline.
Some shareholders of the Zhou Group saw the situation was not good and quickly ran away.
Some senior shareholders and directors had long been dissatisfied with Zhou Yang’s business model that relied too much on the “only traffic”.
Ruoyu’s downfall this time just gave them an excuse to make an issue of it.
So, in the following days, they kept creating obstacles for Zhou Yang.
Without Ruoyu, the “mainstay” of the company, Zhou Yang had no credibility at all. He was constantly defeated by those shrewd directors and shareholders.
Finally, he was kicked out and ended up in a complete defeat.
Of course, I didn’t forget to “add insult to injury” during this period.
When I took my lawyer team and the prepared divorce agreement to find him again, he finally didn’t pester me anymore and signed it without hesitation.
In fact, since the first time he started to delay signing the divorce agreement, I had already started the lawsuit process.
But at that time, the court rejected my application on the grounds that “the relationship had not broken down and divorce was not supported”.
And after that, Zhou Yang had been constantly contacting me in various ways.
First, he sent me gifts, and then he took time out of his busy schedule to fly thousands of miles to see me.
He helped me repair the small yard and even helped me find a new pet rabbit.
It’s just that the rabbit died again during transportation and didn’t reach me.
Apart from feeling sorry for that pet rabbit, I ignored all these things.
I knew Zhou Yang’s personality and also knew his pride.
In the past, he didn’t want to divorce me because he thought he still had the ability to give me a good life.
But now that he had nothing, naturally he didn’t want to drag me down either.
Just when we walked out of the Civil Affairs Bureau after getting the divorce certificate, he still asked me:
“If everything could start over and there was no Ruoyu between us, would you still be willing to like me?”
I said: “If everything could start over, I’d rather never have known you.”
At that moment, his eyes became slightly red, his lips trembled, and it seemed that a heart – rending pain flowed out from his eyes.
After a long pause, he slowly said:
“Okay, I know.”
That was the last time I saw Zhou Yang.
Because the next day, he jumped from the roof of the Zhou Group building where he had relied on for a living.
18
After that, at a very accidental event, I ran into my mother at the hotel where I was staying.
At that time, I had just walked out of the elevator when I saw my mother grabbing an untidily – dressed girl and slapping her repeatedly in the corridor.
On the other side, a pot – bellied middle – aged man wrapped in a bath towel was tugging at her.
I could see clearly that the middle – aged man was Song Guowei.
After being pushed down by Song Guowei, my mother collapsed and shouted frantically:
“Song Guowei, I will never divorce you! As long as I’m alive, this woman and her son will never step into the house!”
Song Guowei was not to be outdone: “Who do you think you are? Don’t forget how you got into the Song family in the first place!”
After hearing this, she slumped to the ground directly, howling like a shrew with her hair in a mess, attracting a crowd of onlookers.
When she accidentally met my gaze, she suddenly paused.
At the moment of making eye contact with her, for some reason, I suddenly remembered one day when I was locked in the villa by her.
At that time, I was also sitting on the ground like her, crying and begging her to let me out.
But she just looked at me indifferently, from a high position, and said:
“Before Zhou Yang comes to pick you up, you can’t go anywhere.
“You can only stay here obediently!”
The assistant beside me suddenly asked me: “Sister Xin Xin, she seems to be looking at you. Do you know her?”
I withdrew my gaze and said lightly: “I don’t know her.”
19
On the day I signed a contract with the new brokerage company, Chen Heng attended as a special guest.
Some people were curious about what kind of relationship there was between the well – known head of the Chen Group and me.
Chen Heng just smiled and replied: “She is my benefactor.
“I hope everyone can take good care of her in the future.”
After the signing ceremony, Chen Heng invited me to watch the sunrise.
We started off late at night and hiked along the mountain path. When we reached the top of the mountain, the sky was still tinged with a misty blue – gray.
“Why did you help me?”
In the entertainment industry, having a background to support can make one’s path a bit smoother.
But the main business areas of the Chen Group are finance and energy, which have almost no connection with the entertainment industry.
Over the years that Chen Heng has been running the Chen family business, he has never had any involvement with any woman.
He actually didn’t have to sacrifice his reputation to stand up for me.
Chen Heng just smiled, unscrewed a can of beer, and handed it to me, “Maybe it’s because the piece you wrote is called ‘Xiaoyan’, which is my sister’s name.
“Maybe it’s because I just want to help a mother who has lost a child.
“Or perhaps… I just simply want to help you.”
After saying that, he unscrewed a can of beer for himself and took a sip.
I clinked the beer can with his.
After a few sips, the alcohol took effect.
Under the influence of alcohol, people always can’t help but reveal something.
“You know, when my sister drowned, I was right there.”
Chen Heng continued to look into the distance and said, “But at that time, I couldn’t swim. And because I was young, I was so scared and helpless that I didn’t know how to save her. The branch I picked up couldn’t reach her, and I could only stand on the shore shouting desperately…
“But later I realized that shouting was useless. She still left in front of my eyes. I lost her forever. I… couldn’t save her.”
After saying this, in the distance, the sky began to be tinged with orange.
But his eyes began to turn dim and sad.
“Later, my father passed away, and I gradually took over the company.
“My mother then started to become mentally abnormal and stubbornly wanted to come to the nursing home.
“I actually know that even though my mother didn’t say it, she blames me, blames me for not saving Xiaoyan.
“Otherwise, why wouldn’t she want to go home, not want to be alone with me, not want to face me, and only want to stay in the nursing home in Yuncheng, waiting for an impossible dream.”
I couldn’t help but pat him on the shoulder.
“But at that time, if you had impulsively jumped into the water, then maybe your mother would have lost two children.
“Then, she would have endured double the pain, and maybe after your father passed away, she would have completely lost her hope and couldn’t have held on until now.
“What you did at that time and at that age was the best you could do.
“The dead are gone, but the living still have to live.”
He listened and was silent for a moment.
“Actually, a long time ago, I heard Aunt Zhan say that she misses you very much.”
I wasn’t lying to him.
When I was writing “Xiaoyan”, due to several days of high – intensity creation, I had a high fever.
Aunt Zhan came to my room personally, fed me medicine, and cooked porridge for me.
The bond between people is really amazing.
The motherly love that I had missed and never received, I actually got it from an aunt I met by chance.
That day, when I saw the Chinese yam in the bowl, I said to her, “Sorry, Aunt Zhan, I’m allergic to Chinese yam.”
Aunt Zhan was stunned for a moment, then touched my head: “You’re just like that kid, Xiao Heng. You’re both allergic to Chinese yam.
“Speaking of which, that kid has been very busy recently and doesn’t have time to come. I really miss him.”
When she said this, she gradually became sentimental: “The last time I saw him, he seemed to have lost weight. I don’t know if he’s eating well…”
Remembering Aunt Zhan’s voice and smile, I turned my head to look at Chen Heng, “After we finish this busy period, I’ll go with you to pick Aunt Zhan up and take her home.”
He was startled at first, looked at me, and there was a surge of emotion in his eyes.
Finally, he just smiled.
“Okay.”
In the distance, the orange glow had gradually expanded, dyeing a large area of the sky.
“Look, the sun is coming out.”
I looked in the direction Chen Heng was looking at.
“Yes, the sun is out.
“A new day has begun.”
(The End)
