I had a puppy love in high school. My girlfriend was the female classmate with the best grades in the class.
Because of this, I was hated by many classmates and all subject teachers. They all said that I was holding my girlfriend back.
The head teacher asked me to talk several times. He even spent money to take me out for late – night snacks and shared his life insights with me. To sum it up, he said, “If you love her, do what’s good for her. At this age, breaking up is for her own good.”
I could sense the head teacher’s earnestness.
I went back and proposed to break up, but she didn’t agree.
The next week when I came to school, the head teacher rearranged the seats.
I was assigned to the last row, while my girlfriend sat in the first row.
What’s more, my girlfriend’s deskmate turned out to be my well – known rival in love.
He had excellent grades, second only to my girlfriend in the class. In many people’s eyes, they were indeed more suitable for each other.
As expected, he pursued my girlfriend blatantly and was tacitly approved by classmates and secretly supported by teachers.
Well, the head teacher directly helped him achieve his goal.
All subject teachers seemed to have made an appointment. They either assigned the two of them to do the blackboard newspaper together or arranged for them to attend meetings together. Even at the New Year’s Day party, the music teacher gave them special treatment and let them sing Wang Leehom’s “Love in My Heart” as the finale. During the preparation, they had to spend a lot of time in the dance studio alone every noon and evening to rehearse and design movements.
After New Year’s Day, they became popular in school and were recognized as the school’s official couple.
I didn’t know if my girlfriend really didn’t notice or was just pretending. She didn’t seem to see all these changes. I felt like a walking corpse every day, living like a clown under the spotlight. I was extremely embarrassed every time I walked into the classroom.
The most ridiculous thing was that my rival’s birthday was on the same day as mine, but I didn’t know it.
On my birthday, after the evening self – study, the monitor asked everyone to stay.
Then a classmate turned off the lights, and everyone spontaneously sang the birthday song.
Tears welled up in my eyes instantly. My cheeks were burning hot, and every inch of my skin seemed to be bathed in warmth.
But when the lights came on, all the classmates’ eyes were not on me, and the singing wasn’t for me.
My hot tears turned into awkward ice in an instant.
I quietly backed out.
The laughter and joy inside still lingered in my ears for a long time…
Since then, I truly became inferior, distanced myself from the crowd, became less talkative, hated school, and was afraid of being around people…
I skipped classes, wandered around, disappeared, and gave up on myself…
My girlfriend tried to find me many times, constantly called me, and sent me numerous long messages.
She said she noticed my strangeness but didn’t know why I had become like this.
My God! She didn’t even know why I had changed. A huge sense of loneliness overwhelmed me, making me feel that the world had nothing to do with me.
It was not until a week later that my mother found me. I felt a pang of heartache when I saw her. She must have been exhausted these days. Her hair was disheveled and greasy, her eyes were sunken with heavy bags beneath them, and her voice was hoarse.
The head teacher seemed to have caught something. He said I had been absent from class for too long without reason and wanted to expel me.
My mother was shocked when she heard about the expulsion. In her mind, expulsion meant being kicked out of school, with no more chance to study.
Regardless of the people present, she suddenly knelt down and begged the head teacher to withdraw the expulsion.
At that moment, I saw my always – strong and shrewd mother being humble to others, looking rather pathetic. I knew it wasn’t that she had become weak or stupid, but that her weakness had been grasped by others, and that weakness was me.
Many people were watching me and making fun of me, pointing at me and saying that I deserved it, that I was unfilial and should die…
Seeing that the head teacher was unmoved, my mother ran to the car, grabbed several big live chickens, and stuffed them into the head teacher’s hands, saying, “These are free – range chickens raised at home. They taste great. You should try them… Please withdraw the expulsion and keep his student status. Even if you let him move his desk outside the classroom to attend class, that’s fine. I promise he’ll be good…”
Maybe because the ropes weren’t tied well, several chickens broke free and flew and ran around.
More and more teachers and classmates stopped to watch the scene.
They all used their cold eyes and superior attitudes to crush me and protect the “real couple” in their hearts.
Finally, the head teacher, fearing the situation would get out of hand, reluctantly agreed to my mother’s request.
I returned to that classroom, the place that had brought me endless pain and that I had wanted to escape from countless times. But I had to go back. For my mother, I would rather stay in the classroom even if it meant suffering.
I angrily rushed onto the podium, looked around at everyone, and then bowed deeply to the head teacher, with tears streaming down my face, saying, “I’m sorry, teacher. I’ve caused you trouble. I’m sorry, teacher. It’s my fault. I’m sorry…”
As I nodded and bowed, my tears dropped onto the floor one by one.
I knew these tears were not only for regret and admitting mistakes but also for the grievance and inferiority I felt.
Since then, my girlfriend still didn’t agree to break up. But she wouldn’t communicate with me much in public either. She seemed to be holding onto me while avoiding me at the same time.
Although I could come back to class, during class, morning and evening reading, and evening self – study, I could only watch helplessly as my girlfriend and her deskmate studied together, cooperated sincerely, and chatted and laughed.
Especially during morning and evening reading, it was like a nightmare for me.
I watched them. One would recite to the other, and then they’d exclaim, “Wow, you recited it so fast…”
During the evening self – study, their voices discussing questions were also very loud. Every teacher on duty not only didn’t stop them but also highly praised them, saying they had enhanced the class’s learning atmosphere.
They became more and more affectionate, more and more tacit, and more and more dependent on each other. Teachers and classmates gradually got used to this harmonious scene, as if whether “puppy love” was good or bad depended on the people involved…
I endured silently, reciting words, economic and political knowledge, poems, and historical facts…
My girlfriend would still accompany me for a walk on weekends, talk to me a lot, and occasionally bring books to recite to me and then ask me to recite to her.
But every time we recited or chatted, she would mention him.
She couldn’t say three sentences without bringing him up.
She probably never knew that my sensitive heart was already full of wounds, and what she was doing was like rubbing salt into them.
I felt heartbroken but didn’t show it.
I pretended to be calm and composed.
The more she talked about him, the calmer I seemed.
I would occasionally reply, “You two are great”, “I’m so envious of you. You’re both amazing”, “Remember not to neglect your studies…”
This kind of ambiguous relationship lasted for a long time. I was almost getting used to this emotional state.
Later, one night, she sent me a message, “How did we end up like this?”
I thought about it. Yeah, how did we end up like this?
She then sent another message, “Maybe, we’ll feel regret when we look back many years later.”
When I saw the word “regret”, my heart ached.
It was as if we both knew the ending but neither of us took the initiative to save the situation.
Such regrets are often man – made, aren’t they?
Thinking of this, I replied, “Let’s go out during this Dragon Boat Festival holiday.”
Then I closed my eyes and relived our memories.
In the second semester of senior one, we became classmates because we both chose liberal arts.
Not long after the establishment of Liberal Arts Class 25, she stood out in the first – stage exam, getting the top grades. Since then, she caught the attention of all subject teachers.
The English teacher once thought she was very similar to her daughter. As time passed, she even treated her as her daughter.
The English teacher had been divorced for years, and her only daughter had gone to live in the UK with her husband. She hadn’t seen her daughter for a long time. Once, when analyzing a composition in class, she was deeply touched and shared her story about her daughter. At that moment, I thought the English teacher was a lonely person.
Xiaohui was an extremely gentle girl. She was always soft – spoken, and even when she smiled, she was like a flower about to bloom, not showing her teeth. The most interesting thing was that whenever someone looked at her seriously, she would blush like a ripe apple.
She wasn’t being shy; it was just her natural reaction. I often teased her to make her blush.
Coincidentally, these traits were exactly the same as those of the English teacher’s daughter.
So, she was especially favored by the English teacher.
At first, we didn’t interact much. Even after being classmates for most of a semester, we didn’t talk much face – to – face.
We just added each other on QQ in the class group and occasionally liked each other’s moments.
Once, when I saw a video of her ice – skating in her space, I casually commented, “Want to learn. Can you teach me?”
Who would have thought that these four words would entangle our lives together.
Soon, she took the initiative to ask me if I wanted to go ice – skating.
I followed her into the ice – skating rink, full of curiosity. I thought it would be easy, but I overestimated myself. My stubbornness made me fall countless times that day.
Later, when I stopped to rest, I watched her skate.
She was wearing a white long dress, moving gracefully on the rink, with her long hair flowing. She looked like a fairy in the sky.
Suddenly, I thought of a line, “When quiet, she’s like a delicate flower reflected in water; when moving, she’s like a weak willow swaying in the wind.”
It was exactly how she looked.
A wonderful feeling grew in my heart.
Just then, she came to me, reached out her hand, and offered to take me for a skate.
I was scared and shook my head. She smiled gently and said, “Don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you.”
Who would have thought that such a quiet girl had such an interesting personality.
I couldn’t refuse anymore and took her hand to stand up.
Maybe I was being overly sentimental, but this was the first time I held a girl’s hand.
When skating, I was very cautious, afraid of falling and pulling her down.
But what I feared happened. Someone was skating backwards towards us at a high speed. I panicked, lost control of my feet, and my shoes hit hers.
Dramatically, she fell on me.
I don’t know if this is how two people usually fall on the ice – skating rink, but at that moment, my heart was filled with excitement.
I could see her face clearly, smell her hair, and her breath had a sweet fragrance.
Ahhh, this was the feeling of a young boy in love!!!
Her expression changed slightly, but she didn’t seem to mind.
After coming out of the ice – skating rink, it was dinner time. I casually asked if we could have dinner together.
She readily agreed.
It was our first time having dinner together. We were both quiet, but we felt comfortable and at ease, without any awkwardness.
She didn’t eat egg yolks and asked if I did.
I nodded.
She picked up an egg yolk with a fork and handed it to my mouth.
I couldn’t help but laugh and said, “Are you feeding me?”
She smiled brightly and said, “If you think so, then yes.”
Since then, I was completely in love.
After dinner, I suggested going for a walk in the park to digest. She agreed.
The park at night was quiet, with a gentle breeze blowing. Under the pale – yellow streetlights, our two long shadows naturally held hands.
We walked around the park again and again, as if cherishing every moment.
After we got back, I really wanted to confess my love to her.
But I thought it was too sudden and the time was too short. I was so conflicted that I couldn’t sleep that night.
Back at school, we went back to our normal, unconnected states. Classmates didn’t notice anything.
No one would have thought that two people who usually had no interaction had a short but precious memory together.
Two weeks later, I couldn’t hold back anymore. After careful consideration, I sent her a text message.
“It’s you who made me believe
Love never needs time to develop
It’s just the reunion of two souls
Before we met for the first time
We had already met in our hearts countless times”
I waited for a long time.
Finally, my phone rang.
She replied:
“In the long river of time
Our short lives pass by quickly
But even so
My life may become
Long and lovely because of you”
Just like that, we got together quietly, as if it was meant to be.
On weekends, we went to the movies, went boating, read books and made tea in the bookstore, listened to the wind and waited for the moon on the sea – dike plank road, climbed mountains to enjoy the flowers, went to the rooftop of the building to chase the clouds, and played with fish by the river.
The happiness of first love filled our ordinary lives.
Soon, our story spread. I was looking forward to getting blessings, but instead, we were maliciously attacked by many classmates.
It was after a PE class. We went to the cafeteria to eat.
I whispered to her, “Honey, I just played basketball and, you know…”
She looked confused.
“What?”
I scratched my head and said, “My pants crotch ripped.”
She was stunned at first, then burst out laughing.
I told her to stop and said, “Let’s eat first. I don’t want you to be hungry. I’ll find a corner to sit. You get the food for me today.”
As usual, she agreed.
But this small thing spread like wildfire in the class.
“He’s not a real man, making a girl line up for food while he sits and waits…”
“Do you know? The guy in our class is so bad. He bullies Xiaohui every day, making her copy his homework and wash his lunch box…”
“Hey, I heard that he grew up in a single – parent family and has a strange personality…”
“I’ve found out. His father is a bad person. He left his family and started a new one long ago…”
“I also heard that he asked a girl out in junior high school. When she refused, he hit her, and then he transferred to our school…”
All kinds of rumors spread quickly.
I became the target of everyone’s criticism.
I still remember clearly that once when I was walking with Xiaohui on the school path, we met some classmates.
They looked at me with contempt and said sarcastically, “Xiaohui, you’re so beautiful, but how could you choose such a loser?”
This sentence still hurt me deeply when I thought about it years later.
All the teachers also believed the rumors and had a bad impression of me.
My pride made me unwilling to explain.
From then on, I distanced myself from the crowd.
Just then, my rival in love started to openly send Xiaohui breakfast and take her back to the dormitory.
He was openly trying to steal my love.
Xiaohui wasn’t good at rejecting others.
My rival’s actions became more and more intense, and he got support from teachers and classmates.
Gradually, he became the one always by Xiaohui’s side.
Thinking of all these things and the current situation, I almost burst into tears.
The Dragon Boat Festival was coming soon. We planned to go to the riverside to watch the dragon – boat race and meet at the Wangjiang Pavilion by the bridge.
She arrived early. At first, I didn’t understand why.
When I got there, I found out that my rival had “cut in”.
He learned about our date when chatting with Xiaohui and asked if he could go and take pictures for us.
Xiaohui couldn’t say no. She agreed.
Not only that, she also promised to go out early with him to have breakfast.
When I arrived, they were chatting and laughing. It seemed that I was the outsider.
I have to say, that day was really humiliating for me. I followed them and became the one taking pictures.
During the summer vacation, Xiaohui found a part – time job in a milk – tea shop.
I never expected that the milk – tea shop was opened by the English teacher’s brother – in – law. She recommended both Xiaohui and my rival to work there.
I tried to apply for the job too. No matter how much I pleaded and how well – prepared I was, I couldn’t persuade the store manager.
I was so helpless and sad.
As a last resort, I became a volunteer in the nursing home next to the milk – tea shop.
The volunteer work wasn’t too much. Maybe because they knew I was a student, they didn’t give me heavy tasks.
Every day, I chatted and played chess with the elderly, made them happy, and listened to their stories.
To be honest, this experience had a great impact on me. I heard many real and touching life stories, which made me understand that life is full of difficult choices.
Most importantly, it strengthened my character and inspired me to pursue and think about kindness. I think this is why I can feel happy easily in my later life. Besides work, I often went to the milk – tea shop to visit them and help with cleaning. To be honest, I was quite envious of them. They could be together all the time, sharing joys and sorrows.
The summer vacation passed quickly, and we entered the intense senior year of high school. The head teacher and subject teachers couldn’t sit still. They felt that the crucial moment had arrived and were on high alert, ready to take action.
The English teacher was the first to act. She found my girlfriend and said to her, “How are things? Are you still dating? The teacher won’t interfere in your affairs, neither support nor oppose. But to be honest, the teacher really thinks you deserve better and can choose better. You know, in the past two years, I’ve always made you the class representative, and you can feel how much I care about and value you. The teacher emphasizes again, study comes first, and the college entrance examination is the top priority!!!”
My girlfriend told me these words later, and I remembered every single one of them. After that, things got even more extreme. In order to separate us to a greater extent, the head teacher arranged for her to live off – campus. She moved into the English teacher’s house near the school, and the English teacher picked her up and sent her off every day. This was a preferential treatment that all the classmates in the class envied. They thought she was like a goddess in the school, being protected so exaggeratedly by so many teachers.
In the second semester, the history teacher started to take action. I had always been good at history, and the history teacher was the most patient among the subject teachers towards me. He found me and said a lot to me, but when he was talking, he didn’t dare to look at me.
“You, you’re a smart kid. I noticed it when I first taught your class. No wonder Xiaohui is so infatuated with you. Today, the teacher just wants to talk to you about your relationship. You’ve been dating Xiaohui for about two years, so you should know something about love. Then, what do you think love is?”
I was stunned and didn’t answer.
“The teacher will tell you a story. Twenty years ago, there was a young man like you who deeply loved his girlfriend. He would get up early every day and walk across several blocks to buy her warm soy milk. He fought with male classmates for her, worked during the holidays to save money to buy her gifts, and would travel thousands of miles to watch movies with her during college. The thousands – mile journey was back and forth. God knows how lonely yet happy that road was.”
“What impressed me the most was once when I went out for a late – night snack with friends and drank very delicious taro syrup. In order to let her taste it before she went to bed, I drove too fast. When turning a corner, the car rolled into a ditch.”
“Then I was so angry that I cried because the syrup spilled…” The history teacher’s eyes were slightly red, immersed in the happiness of memories.
“Another time, I bought a very beautiful bouquet of flowers. Because I was eager to see her surprised expression when she received the flowers, I still drove very fast. As a result, when making a sharp turn, the bouquet on the passenger seat quickly fell to one side due to inertia. In a hurry, I reached out to grab it. My hand was stabbed by the flowers, with several deep red scratches.”
“I was still so angry that I cried because the flowers were damaged…” The teacher paused, as if with infinite emotion.
“I mean, every time I was on the way to see her, I went all out, without delay, eagerly, and raced against time…”
“At that time, I really thought she was the one for me in this life. I dedicated all my enthusiasm to her, cleared my social circle, cut off all my retreats for her, and only rushed towards her wholeheartedly.”
“Later, after we graduated from college, we also attended each other’s graduation ceremonies. Everyone thought we were about to get married.”
“But in the second year after graduation, she was admitted to graduate school. She resolutely gave up this seven – year relationship. I was so heartbroken that I almost suffocated. I waited downstairs in her dormitory for more than a month. Later, I found out that she lived at her classmate’s house for a while to avoid me.”
“That month must have been the most painful month in my life. I couldn’t see any hope, yet I stupidly clung to every last bit of it. In the end, I was disappointed and then fell into despair.” The teacher pushed up his glasses and wiped the corners of his eyes with his fingers.
“She finally only sent me six words, and these six words were the last communication between us so far.”
“Forgive me for flying high.” When saying these six words, the teacher was as difficult as spitting out a fishbone stuck in his throat.
“She gave me up after being admitted to graduate school. Later, I also took the postgraduate entrance examination, but it had no meaning of making up for this relationship.”
“Later, I became a teacher, a husband, and a father, and gradually understood. The true meaning of love is to let her move towards a better future, even if the price is to leave.”
“Protect her and make her safe.” After speaking, he the teacher finished lowered his head and didn’t say anything.
I understood the last few words. No wonder the teacher asked me what love was. It turned out to be to let go. I made up my mind and seriously told the teacher, “Teacher, I understand. In order not to affect her study, I will definitely break up with her this week, completely, and never look back.”
The history teacher’s eyes lit up like seeing summer fireworks. He slowly raised his head, full of relief, yet with a hint of embarrassment. It took a long time for him to speak again, “You still don’t understand.”
I was stunned, with a puzzled look on my face, “Then what is it?”
The teacher started to speak with his head down again, not looking at me. “Do you know Xiaohui’s family? She has three brothers and three sisters. Her father had her when he was nearly sixty. At first, she was given away, but later she found her way back home. However, this experience of being given away caused her great psychological harm. So several of our subject teachers pay more attention to her.”
“After she returned home, she didn’t receive the care and love she deserved. Her brothers and sisters all thought she shouldn’t have come back, and her parents often scolded her for being redundant. Just like that, in this abnormal family environment, she is very sensible, diligent, and obedient.
“Maybe because she lacks love, and you are a very loving child, we can all see that.
“Maybe your appearance filled the gap of love in her heart. She depends on you, and maybe in her heart, you are like her family.
“Her family doesn’t care much about her. Even after she graduated from junior high school, her family didn’t agree to let her continue studying. She secretly went out to work during the summer vacation to save tuition fees and came to high school on her own. After two years, she is very tired and scared. She needs a stable sense of security.
“And in these two years, we can also see that you are truly sincere to her. To be honest, at first, several of us teachers had some complaints about you. But now it seems that you are indeed worthy of her trust.
I was deeply touched and also felt ashamed towards the teachers. I couldn’t help but start crying.
The teacher patted my shoulder and continued.
“Do you know what a stable sense of security is?”
I eagerly asked, “What is it?”
“It’s college. It’s getting into college. Only by getting into college, only with a college diploma can she have a sense of security for her whole life. Just like my girlfriend, she left resolutely in pursuit of her sense of security.”
“I said so much to tell you that as men, we can never, in the name of love, hinder a girl from pursuing her lifelong sense of security. This is a matter of a lifetime.”
The teacher’s tone became more and more serious and sincere. But I felt like I couldn’t breathe, as if being choked by countless hands.
I asked carefully, “Then what exactly should I do?”
The teacher lowered his voice.
“We all know that Xiaohui can’t leave you. It’s always her who doesn’t agree to break up.
“We also know that you are determined to break up with her this time, but what’s the use? This will only affect her study more.
“Now the only way to make up for it is…”
“You drop out of school.”
Goodness, after talking for a whole night and crying for a whole night, it turned out to be a round – about way to persuade me to drop out.
I was so cold – hearted that my heart twitched, and my limbs couldn’t stop shaking.
Don’t I need a sense of security? Don’t I deserve to go to college? Don’t I deserve to have a future?
Why be so ruthless? He was my most respected history teacher. He had a kind face and was gentle and refined, but he said the most heart – stabbing words in the world.
Seeing that I was silent, he quickly struck while the iron was hot.
“Over the past two years, we’ve seen how much you love her. We all highly support you and are looking forward to seeing your relationship bear fruit.
“Just consider it for the future of you two. You know, it’s often us men who have to make sacrifices.
“All the teachers have praised you to me, saying that you are infatuated, loyal, responsible, and courageous. Now is the time to prove to all the teachers that they are right.
“Rationally analyzing from the comprehensive scores of you two, do you think her chance of getting into college is greater, or yours?”
I didn’t answer.
He continued, “The whole class knows that Xiaohui has excellent grades. She will definitely get into a key university. The school leaders also have high hopes for her. If you make a rational choice, I believe you will also choose to let her go to college.
“You are a very responsible person. We all know that.
“Let’s think long – term. After she gets into college, her family will surely not support her. Her brothers and sisters all have their own families and heavy burdens. At this time, it will be up to you, her boyfriend.
“Love means selflessness, dedication, and sacrifice. If you drop out of school, you won’t disturb her study. Even if she will be sad for a while, with the care and guidance of us teachers and classmates, we believe she can quickly focus on her study again.
“And if you sacrifice your studies to work and earn tuition fees for her, in a sense, it’s a great way to maintain your love.
“You are protecting her future and shielding her from the wind and rain. From a higher perspective, you are praise – worthy.”
…
The teacher said a lot more later, but I couldn’t listen anymore and couldn’t remember. I was caught in a difficult choice.
At the end of the conversation, I summoned up my courage and feebly asked the teacher.
“If I drop out of school and go home… teacher, can I keep the right to take the college entrance examination?”
The teacher was overjoyed, as if my reaction was exactly what he expected.
He repeatedly replied, “Of course, of course.”
“But during this period, don’t contact her. We will arrange everything later. We’ll just tell her that you’ve gone to work to earn tuition fees for her to go to college. Trust the teacher. The teacher will speak well of you to her and take care of her for you.”
Just like that, the next day, I packed my things. I knew my mother would be the most pained. But I had made up my mind and didn’t plan to explain anything to her.
I had no other choice.
Before leaving school, I went to the office to ask the head teacher to sign an “Off – campus Safety Agreement”.
When I was about to reach the office, I heard many teachers laughing and chatting loudly, with a strong sense of celebration.
Just as I was about to knock on the door, I heard a familiar voice.
It was the politics teacher, that rare super – alto voice that no one could mistake.
I heard her ask excitedly, “Really? Is he really going back? Great, now there’s hope for the bonus for the key – university enrollment rate.”
Another familiar voice said, “Don’t worry. He promised me. This time, there will definitely be no problem. He will definitely go back.”
It was the history teacher.
I was numb. There was no limit to my cold – heartedness.
Then another voice said, “Will he take the college entrance examination?”
It was the English teacher, with her usual gentle and calm tone.
The history teacher said, “Yes, let him take it. This kid has decent grades. His history grades are quite good. Alas, if it weren’t for his relationship with Xiaohui, I really wouldn’t want him to leave.”
The politics teacher said, “Come on. With his politics grades, taking the college entrance examination means nothing to him.”
The history teacher said, “Don’t say that. Everyone has unlimited potential.”
The politics teacher said, “I believe that. Everyone has unlimited potential. But the prerequisite is that he has to be a worthy person.”
I was a bit angry. What on earth had I done? Why wasn’t I a worthy person? I was about to rush in and argue.
Then the math teacher spoke. He was there too. He was the dean of teaching. He shouldn’t be in the dean’s office? Why was he here celebrating?
The math teacher said, “Alas, to be honest, during the time they were dating, Xiaohui’s math grades dropped significantly. In two mock exams, she only got a little over 100 points. I didn’t even dare to mention it at the subject group meeting. What we’re doing now is like sacrificing a pawn to save the general, cutting off an arm to survive.”
The politics teacher said, “Sacrificing a pawn to save the general, or cutting off an arm to survive? Let me tell you this: if that kid can get into a regular university in the college entrance examination, you can cut off my head, use it as a stool, and then kick it around like a football.”
Finally, the head teacher said, “Stop talking. He should be coming to me to sign at this time.”
The politics teacher said, “Come quickly. The sooner the better.”
Then there was a long period of silence.
To avoid embarrassment, I waited outside for a while before knocking and entering.
All the teachers were there, looking at me with feigned reluctance. They all said some insincere blessings and expectations to me.
But to me, these words were so hypocritical that they made me sick.
I didn’t stay for a second longer. I left in a hurry.
My high – school life was over. Two and a half years of my youth, my best age of 17, no longer had anything to do with me…
After I got home, I just casually told my mother, “I’m not going to school anymore,” and then rushed to my room and cried my eyes out.
My mother might have guessed the reason from my crying and didn’t ask or make a fuss. But every day after that, she was in tears.
I knew all her hopes were pinned on me. Now that I dropped out of school and went home, she must be heart – broken.
But what could I do? In this life, I would never let my mother kneel down and beg anyone again.
Almost all the time before the college entrance examination, I was in my room. I hardly came out except for meals and showers.
My mother became more and more desperate, and her white hair increased significantly.
I just felt heart – broken for her.
My mother said that after I dropped out of school, some relatives sneered at me, saying that I never looked like I would amount to anything.
My mother told me that it’s okay not to go to school, but I should strive to be a good person.
I always remembered these words deeply.
As the college entrance examination was approaching, I finally stepped into my school again.
Those painful, happy, and tangled memories flooded into my mind. They had been sealed away for too long, and now they were like a long-sealed box being opened, surging out in large numbers.
After the college entrance examination, I learned that my girlfriend was with her deskmate.
Even more strangely, the day before the college entrance examination, she found out that her deskmate was dating another girl at the same time.
She was so sad that she got drunk alone. And the next day, she even missed the Chinese exam…
And her deskmate, because of dating two girls at the same time, didn’t have enough energy for study. His grades dropped a lot. Moreover, the affair of him being a playboy was exposed the night before the college entrance examination, which made him distracted during the college entrance examination. He didn’t have enough time for many subjects.
Finally, the day of the college entrance examination results announcement arrived…
At 12 noon, this moment was as exciting as opening a lottery.
I hesitated in front of the computer for a long time and finally didn’t have the courage to click.
Finally, my mother rushed in, beaming with joy, and shouted, “Son, you made it! You made it! You passed the undergraduate line!!! Hahaha!!!”
I was stunned. Why?
My mother said that seeing I was too afraid to check the results, she secretly called my head teacher to ask for my admission ticket number and checked for me.
As she said this, she rushed over, grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes, and repeated, “You passed, son. You really passed.”
My mother’s voice was trembling, and happy tears filled her face.
I slowly closed my eyes. Finally, I made it.
Looking at my mother still immersed in endless joy.
At this moment.
It was the best moment in my life!!!
**Extra Story 1**:
During the few months I was cooped up in my room, I spent all my time memorizing books and self – studying.
There was an app called YuanTiKu on my phone. I did exercises on it day after day.
So, that undergraduate admission was not a random gift from heaven.
**Extra Story 2**:
Because my girlfriend missed one Chinese exam, her score was just enough to pass the first – class junior – college line.
Her new boyfriend also didn’t perform well and got the same result **Extra Story 3**:
After senior three, my girlfriend tried to get back together with me several times, but I politely declined each time.
It was because during my most difficult and lowest moments, she wasn’t there for me.
She would never truly understand me, and I couldn’t fully understand her either. So, going our separate ways was the only option.
Later, her sister sent me a message: “Although I don’t know what happened between you two, she really loves you. She locked herself in the bathroom for three consecutive days, crying and blaming herself non – stop.”
I didn’t reply.
**Extra Story 4**:
The math teacher, who was also the dean of teaching, called me once. “Oh, you really gave us a big surprise. Now, when I give a mobilization speech to the first – year senior high school students, I always mention you as an example. I tell them to look into the situation of the ancient classmate from Class 25 of the previous senior three. Check out what level he was at in the first and second year of senior high school, and what his grades were like. But in the end, he made a determined effort and got into a key undergraduate university.”
“Oh, I used to have some misunderstandings about you. Now I realize that I was too subjective. Finally, I want to say: The outcome is not determined yet, and anyone can be a dark horse.”
“You, without a doubt, are a dark horse!!! Congratulations!!!”
———————————————————
There are also many people who can’t understand or believe the behaviors of the boy and the girl.
They stand on the moral high ground, using the mature mindset of adults to view the rebellion of minors, and thus find it inconceivable.
It’s as if everyone in the world should live a normal life, and all things should happen reasonably within the order they think is right. Only then is it considered normal.
There are also many people who question the logic in this story: the scores, the teachers, the classmates…
I thought about modifying it several times in the background to make the logic more acceptable to others.
But I couldn’t do it.
Because this is a true story. I want to respect the readers on the premise of respecting the facts. Even if the protagonist isn’t me, it’s a story that has indeed happened in reality.
As for why it happened, why it happened in that way, and why it didn’t get better or worse, these are not things I can control.
I just described it as it is…
I don’t want to make any changes. Logic is only needed in novels, but reality doesn’t need to be perfectly rounded.
Because in the reality of this story, no one made any changes, yet everyone’s story continues as it is, and the real world is still operating normally…
Sometimes, it’s better to think that all the unbelievable experiences are just bugs in the world.
On the other hand, I actually think it’s quite good. Because many people don’t believe there can be such people (teachers and classmates), and I think this is probably because they themselves live in a relatively perfect environment, surrounded by people with normal emotions. It’s like asking a goldfish living in a colorful and warm fish tank to imagine the rough waves of the Bermuda Triangle.
Everyone is rather stingy with their tolerance. We don’t have to demand others to empathize.
Every person who always speaks rudely to others online will inevitably experience things where they long for others to understand them. But only a small number of people learn to truly respect others’ hardships and encourage others to grow.
And most of the warmth and beauty in life are maintained and managed by this small number of people.
It’s easy to be a mindless, aggressive demon. Anyone can utter a dirty word.
But it’s really difficult to support a stranger with one’s true kindness and patience.
– End –
