To let my daughter enjoy a big meal, I took a risk and brought her to the company’s annual banquet.
Unexpectedly, the big boss, being considerate of the employees and wanting to have fun with them, sat at our table.
My daughter stared at the big boss with her eyes wide open. The big boss looked back at her.
Then she turned to me and called out, “Mommy,” and then seriously stared at the big boss, saying, “This is Mommy. Why don’t you call her Mommy?”
At that moment, everyone’s eyes at the banquet were fixed on me and the big boss.
I quickly covered my daughter’s mouth and smiled awkwardly, saying, “Kids say the darnedest things, kids say the darnedest things.”
Grape broke free and pointed at a colleague beside us naively, saying, “Aunt Meng and Uncle Liu also call you Mommy.”
Xiao Meng and Xiao Liu were new interns. I noticed they always ordered takeout, so I invited them to our home for a few meals.
They were so grateful that their eyes welled up with tears as they called me “Mommy.”
I picked up Grape and rushed outside, saying, “Sorry, the kid needs to use the restroom.”
Grape struggled to speak, but with less strength than me, she could only comply obediently.
“Grape, what did you promise Mommy when we left home?” I made her stand straight against the wall with her hands by her legs and spoke in a very serious tone.
“Only eat, don’t talk,” she pouted and started acting coquettish, “Mommy, I’m so hungry.”
“Don’t say anything random when we go back!” I pinched her little ear, and she grimaced and agreed.
I thought the big boss had already left, but to my surprise, he was still sitting there.
When my colleagues saw me return, they quickly smoothed things over and said that the dishes were getting cold and urged me to eat more.
As I ate, I took care of Grape. Suddenly, there was an extra piece of spareribs on Grape’s plate.
Before I could say thank you, Grape exclaimed, “You didn’t use serving chopsticks. That’s not hygienic!”
Everyone quickly looked over, glimpsed that the big boss’s chopsticks hadn’t been withdrawn yet, and then quickly lowered their heads as if they had never looked up before.
The big boss coughed twice, took away the sparerib, and used serving chopsticks to put another piece on Grape’s plate.
The little girl nodded satisfactorily and put a piece of beef on Gu Zheng’s plate, saying, “Courtesy demands reciprocity.”
The two of them were like they had started a program, helping and taking care of each other back and forth.
Although I felt a bit embarrassed, I also took the opportunity to eat a lot and was quite satisfied.
Halfway through the meal, Gu Zheng left first due to something, and everyone at the table breathed a sigh of relief.
“Sister Ye, I was almost having indigestion just now,” Xiao Liu said with a gloomy look as he watched Gu Zheng’s receding figure.
“Me too,” Xiao Meng quickly added, “I didn’t dare to eat anymore either.”
Looking at Grape who was eating heartily, I couldn’t help giving her a thumbs-up.
It was already very late when we got home. Grape had been excited all day and fell asleep as soon as she touched the bed without me having to coax her.
After I took a shower and got into bed, my phone lit up. I clicked on WeChat and saw two words sent by the other party – [“Come over.”]
After making sure Grape was sound asleep, I went to the next unit.
Before I could press the fingerprint lock, the door opened from the inside, and a pair of strong arms pulled me in and pinned me against the entrance.
He held my waist, gently rubbed his nose against mine, and playfully pecked me on the lips, saying, “Mommy?”
My face flushed bright red, “The kid didn’t know what she was saying.”
The corners of his mouth lifted in a low chuckle, and his eyebrows slightly raised as if in thought, “In a way, it’s not wrong either.”
Then he suddenly picked me up, and when I opened my eyes again, it was already eight o’clock in the morning.
I hurriedly changed clothes, afraid that Grape would wake up and not find me.
Gu Zheng leaned against the headboard, “I’ve already sent someone to your home.”
“Who?” I asked.
He frowned, “The child you adopted at the company.”
The next second, my phone rang, and Xiao Meng’s voice came through, “Sister Ye, Grape hasn’t woken up yet. Don’t worry about your business trip. Leave Grape to me.”
Knowing that someone was looking after Grape, I breathed a sigh of relief, and my movements slowed down.
Gu Zheng hugged me from behind, with his chin resting on my shoulder, “Since you’re awake, let’s do some exercise.”
Gu Zheng was going on a business trip and had to leave for the airport at noon. Before leaving, he asked someone to send me steamed spareribs with rice flour. This was my favorite dish, and also Grape’s favorite.
When the clock on the wall pointed to six o’clock, I carried the spareribs back home and called Grape and Xiao Meng to have dinner.
Last night was an exception. Generally, Gu Zheng wouldn’t keep me overnight.
Our relationship was well hidden. He was the high and mighty boss, and I was an inconspicuous secretary in the secretary’s office.
He was going to be away for three months this time, and I felt an unprecedented sense of ease.
On the first day of each month, he would transfer a sum of money to me. This time, he transferred the money for half a year at once.
I took the money and took Grape to eat the buffet that she had been longing for.
Although Gu Zheng hadn’t treated me badly, there would be a day when he got tired of me.
When that day came, I would take Grape and leave Haishi to go back to our hometown.
Although our hometown wasn’t as prosperous as Haishi, the educational resources were okay. More importantly, we wouldn’t have to live in fear.
I was very glad that Grape looked a lot like me now and didn’t show any resemblance to Gu Zheng at all.
But as she grew older, some of Grape’s little gestures were surprisingly similar to Gu Zheng’s, and I started to feel uneasy.
Getting pregnant with Grape was an accident in the first place.
Six years ago, I was a newly recruited employee in the company. The chief secretary was on a business trip, and I temporarily went with Gu Zheng to meet clients. As a result, Gu Zheng was drugged.
At that time, I had just graduated, and my grandma was seriously ill and needed surgery fees. I gritted my teeth and got into bed with Gu Zheng, planning to use this to threaten him.
But before I could ask for hush money, the hospital called and said that grandma couldn’t make it.
I dragged my tired body to the hospital but couldn’t make it in time to see grandma for the last time.
Without money, I couldn’t even decide where to bury grandma.
Later, relatives pooled some money together and bought a burial plot for grandma in the cemetery in our hometown.
Three days later, I returned to the secretary’s office. The chief secretary knew about my grandma’s situation and comforted me to let nature take its course, not to overthink, and to live in the present.
I smiled and agreed, but in fact, I had already prepared my resignation letter.
After doing such a thing, not to mention being fired, I might even go to jail.
But the expected thing didn’t happen. Instead, the company transferred me to City A for training.
I felt uneasy in my heart and asked around to find out why I was transferred.
The chief secretary only said it was a good thing and told me not to worry.
Later, I found out that the person who set up Gu Zheng that day was the head of the branch office in City A.
That woman said that if Gu Zheng didn’t marry her, she would jump off the building.
Gu Zheng directly called her parents, and her parents apologized and gave a piece of land to General Gu as compensation.
“That woman has been in love with General Gu for a long time,” a colleague smacked his lips. “She seems to be the daughter of General Gu’s elder. She used to be at the headquarters before and was later transferred to the branch office.”
“Do you know about her and General Gu?” The colleague winked at me and described it vividly…
I was shocked. Was there another girl involved after I left?
“Wasn’t there surveillance?” I pretended to be curious.
“That young lady was so meticulous. She had already turned off all the cameras on the road. If General Gu hadn’t been tough, we might have even eaten wedding candies by now,” another colleague said smugly.
I let out a long sigh of relief and tore up my resignation letter.
“You got lucky,” another colleague teased, “Although the branch office is small, it’s not a bad place either.”
I just smiled and didn’t say anything.
Not long after I went to City A, I found out that I was pregnant. My first reaction was to have an abortion.
But I was so eager to have a relative, to have someone by my side. After much hesitation, I decided to keep the child.
Fortunately, a few days after finding out about the pregnancy, another colleague came to City A for training and shared a lot of my work pressure.
By the time I returned to the headquarters, Grape could already talk.
Colleagues at the headquarters were surprised to see me bring a child back. I made up a story that I got engaged in City A and later my boyfriend died in a car accident.
Everyone was filled with emotion and just said that having a child was also something to hold onto.
I pretended to smile bitterly and agreed.
As for Gu Zheng and me, it was he who took the initiative to approach me.
He said that adults all had physical needs, and since I already had a child, I wouldn’t pester him like other young girls.
He also said that he would help me move to a better neighborhood and give me an extra sum of money each month.
I stared at his eyes in a daze and didn’t say a word.
“Miss Ye, do you think it’s too little?” he asked.
Although it wasn’t a large amount, it was more than enough for me and Grape.
“It’s not a lot,” I gave a fair reply.
He chuckled softly, “Don’t worry. You won’t be at a disadvantage.”
Gu Zheng said that he wanted to eat home-cooked dishes.
As soon as I saw the message, I felt very annoyed. I had promised to steam fish for Grape in the evening, so I couldn’t go to him.
He usually wouldn’t look for me on the day he returned from a business trip. This sudden visit made me very unhappy.
Not long after I sent the refusal message, the doorbell rang.
Grape cheered and ran to open the door, shouting, “Grape milk tea, grape milk tea.”
I didn’t feel at ease, so I walked over to take a look. To my surprise, Gu Zheng appeared at the entrance of my home, looking a bit tired from his journey.
“Mommy, there are no shoes for him,” Grape frowned and looked at me.
I was caught off guard by Gu Zheng’s appearance and could only give him Xiao Liu’s slippers.
“Those are Brother Xiao Liu’s,” Grape pouted.
“It’s okay, baby. Mommy will buy new ones for Brother Xiao Liu,” I squatted down and held Grape’s little hand.
Suddenly, I felt like I was being stared at intently, and I subconsciously looked at my chest, only to realize that I was wearing a camisole and had forgotten about it.
Just when I was at a loss, the doorbell rang again.
Gu Zheng casually opened the door and took a beige foil bag from the delivery guy.
“Grape milk tea!” Grape exclaimed joyfully and reached out with both hands to grab the bag from Gu Zheng.
Gu Zheng took off his shoes, didn’t put on Xiao Liu’s slippers, and walked towards the living room with the bag in one hand and the other in his pocket.
Grape followed him expectantly like a little puppy.
He slowly took out the milk tea, inserted the straw, and motioned for Grape to hold the milk tea cup with both hands.
The little girl’s eyes were fixed on the milk tea, and she did whatever Gu Zheng said. Finally, when she got the milk tea, she took a big sip and made a contented sound.
“Mommy, can I play with my tablet while drinking milk tea?” Her eyes were full of pleading not to be refused.
I nodded in agreement, and she rushed towards her room with the milk tea in her hand.
Seeing her close the door of her room, I finally had time to deal with Gu Zheng.
I didn’t call him “Mr. Gu” as usual but said, “Gu Zheng, why did you come to my home?”
He just drank the other cup of milk tea in the bag by himself and said, “It’s too sweet.”
Then he walked to the entrance, dragged his suitcase in, and said, “I want to take a shower.”
He said it so naturally as if he were in his own home.
I made a rather childish move to push him out, but instead, I was pinned in his arms.
“Be obedient. Raising a child costs a lot of money,” Gu Zheng said in a relaxed tone, but there was no smile in his eyes. “Isn’t that right?”
His words were like a slap in the face, waking me up. Just because he had been a bit nice to me, I had forgotten that I was in a disadvantaged position and had become spoiled.
“Okay, I’ll go take a shower,” he let go of me, with a carefree smile on his face.
With one more adult at home, I took out some more dishes from the fridge. I kept doing things with my hands, but my mind was elsewhere.
I had changed into a common cotton pajama. Suddenly, a pair of arms with moisture on them wrapped around my waist, and my ears felt itchy as his wet hair brushed against them.
“I haven’t seen you wear this kind of pajama before,” Gu Zheng said beside my ear.
I usually prepared camisole nightdresses to please him. It was the first time that I showed my homely side in front of Gu Zheng.
“Mommy!” Grape’s voice was getting closer, and Gu Zheng quickly let go of me as if he had been electrocuted and distanced himself from me.
“Have you finished drinking?” I asked.
“No,” Grape liked to drag her words. “Mommy said I could only drink a little, so I only drank a little.”
“That’s great.” I wiped my hands on my apron and touched her little head.
“Grape, would you like to read a picture book for a while? We can have dinner soon!”
After the effect of the milk tea wore off, Grape became very interested in Gu Zheng.
“Mommy, who is he?” I glanced at Gu Zheng and was stunned for a moment.
“I’m your mommy’s colleague,” Gu Zheng squatted down. “Do you know what a colleague is?”
“I know. It’s like Brother Xiao Liu and Sister Xiao Meng,” Grape said proudly, as if waiting for others to praise her.
“It’s not exactly the same,” Gu Zheng was about to say more when I interrupted him.
“Grape, let Uncle read the picture book for you!” After saying that, I felt that I had been impulsive and stared at him nervously. I saw his eyebrows furrow slightly.
I quickly added, “Mr. Gu, if it’s inconvenient…”
“Let’s go,” he crossed his arms.
“I’ve read picture books for my friends’ children before.”
I let out a long sigh of relief, but also felt a bit sad in my nose. This was the first time Grape had interacted with her father.
After dinner, Gu Zheng took me away with him.
Although we had had many close contacts before, I still felt nervous when we were alone together.
“How old is your daughter?” he asked.
“Four years old,” I lied and said she was one year younger.
“Was she born by cesarean section?” Gu Zheng asked.
I subconsciously wanted to put my hand on the cesarean section scar, but to my surprise, he was one step ahead of me, and my hand ended up covering his.
We had held hands countless times. Every time our emotions ran deep, I felt like a floating duckweed clinging to him, and his palms were so hot.
He held my hand tightly in his. “Did it hurt to give birth?”
I pretended to be calm, not daring to think about his intentions. Could he already know?
“It would be a lie to say it didn’t hurt, but since he’s gone, I always wanted something to remember him by.” I brought up the fabricated ex-boyfriend as an excuse.
Gu Zheng squeezed my hand harder. “You two must have had deep feelings.”
His voice gave away no emotion, but the pain from his grip told me he wasn’t happy.
“I don’t want to talk about the past anymore.” I pulled my hand out of his embrace. “I have to go. I can’t leave Grape alone at home.”
He didn’t say a word, half-leaning against the headboard. The dim yellow light shone down on him from above. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I knew he didn’t mean to make me stay.
The first thing I did when I got home was to check on Grape.
I always liked to stare at Grape’s face.
People say daughters usually look like their fathers. I was so afraid to see any resemblance to Gu Zheng on Grape’s face.
Fortunately, Grape still had baby fat. She didn’t really look like anyone in particular, just like any other child.
If you put her among a group of kids, I, as her mother, might not even be able to pick her out.
But when they sat together during dinner tonight, seeing their subtle expressions and little gestures… I didn’t dare to think about it.
Women are sentimental creatures.
Even though I didn’t have any feelings for Gu Zheng at first, it was different now.
I felt like I was falling for him, and I even had a crazy thought – to tell Gu Zheng that Grape was his biological daughter.
But then what? Would Gu Zheng want Grape? Even if he wanted Grape, would he want me?
I put out the cigarette in my hand, hid the cigarette box back in its place. The smell of tobacco gathered on the balcony. I opened the window, and the cold wind hit me unexpectedly, waking me up – it was time to end this relationship.
Some busybodies posted the photos of Gu Zheng and Grape interacting at the annual banquet in the company’s chat group.
[“Do you think Sister Ye’s child belongs to General Gu…”]
Although they didn’t say it clearly, everyone could guess what they meant.
[“Impossible. Sister Ye looks so plain, not the type General Gu would like.”]
[“Don’t talk nonsense. Sister Ye’s fiancé died in a car accident. The child is posthumous.”] An old employee jumped out to defend me.
[“You guys with no filter! Little Grape is already so pitiful without a father. How can you spread such rumors!”]
[“Be careful with your words…”]
More and more colleagues spoke up for me.
“I’m fed up with these people.” Xiao Meng was even angrier than I was. “Where does Grape look like General Gu?”
“Grape is so cute!” Xiao Liu was also fuming. “General Gu is not as likable as Grape.”
Before Xiao Liu finished speaking, Gu Zheng coughed twice behind him, and there was a client standing beside him, trying hard not to laugh.
“Our General Gu has an air of a king by nature.” Xiao Liu didn’t change his expression. “We wouldn’t dare to like him. We can only admire from afar.”
After saying that, he pretended to turn around naturally. “General Gu, you’re here!”
Gu Zheng gave him a deep look and walked away with big steps.
“Scared me to death.” Xiao Liu leaned on Xiao Meng. “Why does General Gu walk so quietly?”
“Xiao Meng, could you help me send this file to General Gu?” Xiao Liu asked pitifully for help.
“If you don’t dare, I don’t dare either.” Xiao Meng pushed Xiao Liu away. “Don’t lean on me. Don’t take advantage of me.”
Xiao Liu then looked at me with pleading eyes.
There was no other way. In the end, I, who was already in the spotlight, had to step up.
“A-Zheng, is she really your daughter?”
“Do you believe it?”
Before I could raise my hand to knock on the door, the conversation between the two came from inside the office.
“It would be nice if she’s really your daughter.” The client said again. “A daughter is a father’s little sweetheart.”
“I don’t like children.” Gu Zheng’s cold voice rang out. “Especially those delicate little girls. I can’t handle them.”
I stood at the door, my face turning pale. So he didn’t like children at all – then why did he read picture books with Grape?
Calming myself down, I knocked on the office door. “General Gu, there’s a contract for you to sign.”
“Come in.” He took the contract from my hand, signed it, and then said, “Secretary Ye.”
“Don’t bring your child to the company in the future.
“Your salary is not low. There’s no need to bring your child to the company to eat.”
After saying that, he handed the signed contract to me without looking at me at all.
“I’m sorry, General Gu. It won’t happen again.” I didn’t change my expression and immediately apologized.
“A-Zheng, you’re too strict.” The client said.
I cast a grateful look at the client and quickly left this suffocating place.
“Grape, would you like to leave Haishi and live in another place?” I asked Grape when I was putting her to bed.
“Mommy, why do we have to leave Haishi?” Grape looked at me with her big eyes blinking.
“Baby, Mommy was just asking hypothetically.” I stroked her head.
“Where would we go if we leave Haishi?” Grape asked again. “When would we leave?”
“The teacher said we’ll go on a study tour together this winter.”
“Mommy, can I go on the study tour with my little friends?”
After she fell asleep, I opened my mobile banking app. The savings were enough for me and my daughter to live in our hometown.
[“Come over.”] An unexpected message popped up.
I pretended not to see it, and then the other person sent another message: [“I know you’re not asleep.”]
So what. I just turned off my phone directly.
Not long after that, the doorbell rang.
I was afraid of waking Grape up, so I quickly went to open the door. Gu Zheng appeared at my doorstep again, with the corners of his mouth slightly curled up as if everything was going as he expected.
“General Gu, please don’t come to see me casually.” I lowered my head. “It’s not good for Grape if there’s a strange man at home.”
“Are you angry?” Gu Zheng reached out to grab my hand, but I shook it off. “Is it because of what I said this afternoon?”
“I’m not angry.” I said.
He directly pinched my chin, forced me to look up at him, and his tone was full of mockery. “Just because I don’t let your daughter come to the company?”
“You live off me, live in the place I provide. What else are you dissatisfied with?”
“I can consider your little tantrums as a kind of charm. But if it’s too much, I don’t like it.”
He picked me up and carried me on his shoulder, found the master bedroom with ease, and threw me heavily onto the bed.
“Mommy, Mommy…”
Grape’s cries came from outside. Gu Zheng sneered and locked the door, pressing me down with one hand.
“Mommy, open the door!” Grape’s fists were small, and the sound of her knocking on the door wasn’t loud, but it was like a knife cutting into my heart.
“Gu Zheng, are you crazy?” I struggled desperately. “Grape is crying.”
His dark eyes stared at me tightly, filled with an unfathomable darkness. He was like a machine without emotions.
“Can’t you hear the child crying?” I kicked him, but my ankle was held down by his other hand.
“I don’t like children crying.” He leaned over like a mad dog, breathing heavily. “I prefer to see you cry.”
Taking advantage of his inattention, I bit him.
He wasn’t prepared and let go of me to touch the bitten place.
I managed to break free and quickly opened the door to hold Grape in my arms.
“Mommy, Grape is scared. Grape dreamed that Mommy was taken away by the big bad wolf.” Grape had tears on her eyelashes, crying so hard that she could hardly catch her breath. “Mommy, can Grape sleep with you?”
I kissed Grape’s forehead and nose. “Dreams are not real. Mommy loves Grape the most.”
I carried Grape towards her room, but Grape didn’t want to. “Mommy, I want to sleep in your room.”
“Grape, Mommy will sleep with you.” I lifted her little butt a bit. “Don’t be afraid.”
Grape didn’t sleep soundly in the second half of the night. She opened her eyes several times to check if I was there.
Gu Zheng didn’t come to me again. I didn’t hear the sound of the door closing, so I guessed he had fallen asleep too.
“Nonsense.” I tapped Grape’s little nose. “Kids are always full of energy.”
She pouted and bargained with me. “Then can Grape have egg tarts for breakfast? Grape hasn’t had them for a long time.”
“Give Mommy a kiss, and Mommy will make egg tarts for you.” I pretended to disagree.
“Mommy, kiss.” Grape kissed me on the face twice in a flattering way, and then suddenly exclaimed.
I turned around and saw Gu Zheng coming out of my room looking smug. “Grape, good morning.” Then he slowly pulled out a chair and sat down at the table.
“Mommy, why is he in our house?” Grape’s face was full of confusion.
“The light in Mommy’s room was broken. Uncle came to help Mommy fix it this morning.” I forced myself to stay calm, afraid that Gu Zheng would say something even colder.
Grape stared at Gu Zheng for a while and then sat on the chair next to Gu Zheng. “I’m having egg tarts for breakfast. What about you?”
Gu Zheng didn’t look at Grape but at me. “I’ll eat whatever your mommy makes.”
Grape’s little face suddenly wrinkled like dried beancurd as she thought carefully. “You want to eat egg tarts too? Then you have to kiss Mommy.”
“Kiss Mommy?” Gu Zheng smiled playfully. “Sure.”
He even started to stand up.
“No need. There will be enough for everyone.” I forced a smile.
After sending Grape to kindergarten, Gu Zheng was still there.
Since I had the thought of leaving him, I became bolder towards him.
“Why haven’t you left yet?” I said. “Are you really waiting to fix the light?”
“What about you?” Gu Zheng sat on the beige sofa, looking a bit cramped with his long limbs. “Why aren’t you going to work?”
“I’m going to the bank.” Afraid that he would find fault, I added, “I’ve already informed the HR department.”
“The HR department didn’t tell me.”
“Gu Zheng.” I stood in front of him, looking down at him. “You’re meddling too much.”
“Or rather -” I bent down to be at eye level with him. “Have you fallen for me?”
“Miss Ye seems to be overthinking.” Gu Zheng stood up from the sofa. “We businessmen always aim to maximize benefits.”
“The food you cook is delicious.
“I want you to be responsible for my three meals a day from now on.”
“Thank you for your favor, General Gu.” I turned my back to him. “Today is the last day of this month.”
“Let’s end our relationship here.
“I’ll return the extra money to your card this afternoon.”
“Miss Ye, isn’t it a pity to end such a good deal?” Gu Zheng hugged me from behind. “To be honest, I’ve been quite happy working with you.”
“Won’t you reconsider?”
I shook off his hand. “To be honest too, General Gu, the money you gave me isn’t that much.
“I might as well find someone else.
“Others won’t ask me to cook for them.”
“Ye Han.” He became serious. “I won’t give others a second chance.”
“Coincidentally, I don’t like going back on my word either.” For the first time, I bravely looked into his eyes and showed him my attitude.
“Ye Han, I’ll be waiting for you to come back and beg me.”
I had to break my promise to Grape.
After returning the extra money to Gu Zheng, I submitted my resignation letter to the secretary’s office and took Grape back to our hometown.
The old house that hadn’t been lived in for years had a musty smell. I contacted a cleaning service and stayed in a small hotel with Grape for the time being.
I thought Grape would be disappointed and sad, but unexpectedly, she was so curious about the old house that she kept asking questions.
I took Grape to visit Grandma’s grave and also went to see my parents’ graves.
My parents had been determined to get divorced back then. They packed their luggage, arranged for a vehicle, and even made the decision to leave our hometown right after getting the divorce certificate. But none of them cared about the child at home.
Later, they had a car accident on the way to the Civil Affairs Bureau. The divorce didn’t go through, and they were gone.
Grandma always advised me to let go of the grudges in my heart, saying that adults also had their helplessness.
But I hated them. Since they wanted a divorce and didn’t want the child, why did they give birth to me?
“Mom and Dad, this is my daughter Grape.”
It was so ironic. They were almost divorced, but they were still buried in the same tomb with the same tombstone.
At night, I took Grape to eat wontons at the old food market. Time had passed, and the owner of the wonton shop was no longer the same one, and the taste wasn’t the same as before either.
“Grape, let’s live here.” I pinched her cheek, but she was busy eating wontons with a porcelain spoon and thought I was annoying.
“Mommy, will that uncle find us?” She asked.
I was stunned by the question and froze on the spot. “Which uncle?”
“The one who came to fix the light.”
“No, he won’t come to find you anymore.” I smiled at Grape. “If the light at home breaks in the future, we can ask the property management to fix it.”
“Great.” Grape suddenly jumped off her seat and lay on my lap. “No one will compete with Grape for Mommy anymore.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Why do you think he wants to compete with you for Mommy?”
“When Tiantian finished eating the biscuits the teacher gave her and wanted to eat mine, her eyes looked just like that uncle’s.”
“Then why did you let him have egg tarts?” I asked again.
“I was afraid that Mommy also liked him.” Grape said seriously. “I was afraid Mommy would be sad.”
“Grape.” I hesitated for several times, but some words just couldn’t come out of my mouth.
There were some old photos at home, and Grape was always curious about who the people in the photos were.
I told her that there were Great-grandma, Grandma, and Grandpa.
“Where did they go, Mommy?” Grape asked.
I asked her if she remembered that I took her to burn paper offerings before.
Grape thought for a while, then hugged me like a little adult and said that she would always be with me.
It went smoothly when I was looking for a job. The accountant of the county experimental primary school had been transferred to another place, and I successfully took over his position.
An old couple who had moved from other places lived across the hall. They were very warm-hearted towards me and Grape.
Sometimes when I was too busy, I would send Grape to their place to learn calligraphy from the old gentleman.
One day when I got home and knocked on the old gentleman’s door but got no response, I thought they had taken Grape out for a walk. Suddenly, I heard noises coming from my own home.
When I opened the door, I saw Grape playing with building blocks beside the sofa, and there was a strange man in the room.
The man stood up from the sofa a bit awkwardly. “I’m sorry. I came in without your permission. Grape insisted on coming back to play with building blocks. Her grandparents were worried about leaving her alone, so they asked me to come in and watch her.”
It turned out that he was the grandson of the old couple across the hall.
“It’s okay. You’re a guest invited by Grape.” I waved my hand.
After going back and forth a few times, we got familiar with each other. I learned that his name was Cheng Mu Ye and he was studying for a postgraduate degree abroad.
“Sister Ye, I should have brought you an umbrella if I had known.”
After a meeting at work, our class had a dinner gathering, and Grape was left at the old couple’s place again.
“It’s okay. A colleague sent me back.”
“I see.” Cheng Mu Ye smiled.
“Grape, say goodbye to brother.” I called Grape to leave.
Not long after we got home, the doorbell rang again. I thought Grape had forgotten something and Cheng Mu Ye had come to send it over, but an unexpected person showed up at the door.
“Don’t close the door.” He stuck his leg into the crack of the door, making me dare not push hard.
“Sister Ye, Grape’s…”
Just at that moment, Cheng Mu Ye also opened the door, and the atmosphere froze in a strange way.
“Sister Ye, Grape’s hairpin.” He handed me the hairpin and stood beside Gu Zheng, showing no intention of leaving.
I had no choice but to let both of them in.
Grape seemed to have no impression of Gu Zheng. She casually leaned against Cheng Mu Ye and directed Cheng Mu Ye to change the TV channel.
“Grape, don’t you remember uncle?” Gu Zheng carefully reached out to hold Grape’s hand, but Grape dodged it.
He probably didn’t expect Grape’s reaction to be so cold. His hands hung in the air for a long time before he put them down.
He took out his phone and tapped on it for a while. Soon, several cups of milk tea were delivered.
Gu Zheng, as if nothing had happened just now, called Grape to come and drink the milk tea.
I frowned and was just about to stop her when I heard – “Thank you, uncle. Grape doesn’t want to drink milk tea now.”
“Grape, it’s okay to drink one cup once in a while.” He handed the milk tea with the straw inserted to Grape.
Grape didn’t refuse. Just when Gu Zheng’s eyes showed a glimmer of hope, she gave the milk tea to Cheng Mu Ye. “Brother, adults can drink it.”
Gu Zheng finally couldn’t hold it back. His upbringing made it impossible for him to take the milk tea from Cheng Mu Ye’s hand, but he was unwilling to give up.
“Grape, uncle will come to see you tomorrow.” He staggered to his feet and walked out of the door in a daze.
I wanted to tell him not to come again, but his lonely look made me unable to bring myself to say it.
Not long after Gu Zheng left, Cheng Mu Ye also left, and he didn’t forget to take all the milk tea with him. “Grape, you’re a child and can’t drink milk tea. Uncle will buy you yogurt tomorrow.”
Grape watched Cheng Mu Ye leave with a pitiful look, like a sad little animal.
“Grape, do you really not remember that uncle?” I asked.
“I remember.” She said.
“Then why…”
Before I could finish my question, Grape asked me back, “Mommy, will that uncle be my daddy?”
I was stunned and answered with difficulty, “No.”
“Then we’re strangers.” Grape blinked her eyes. “Don’t talk to strangers.”
Gu Zheng came again the next day.
This time, he brought a lot of gifts, like dolls and princess dresses, but Grape didn’t accept any of them.
He was at a loss and looked at me with pleading eyes.
I panicked. Was Gu Zheng being so nice to Grape because he already knew that Grape was his daughter?
Thinking back to his conversation with his friend that day, could he have really had a paternity test on a whim?
Soon, I dismissed my doubts because he said that as long as I was willing to come back to him, he could treat Grape as his own daughter.
“You said you wouldn’t give me a second chance.” I smiled and brushed his hand away.
“I regret it.” He suddenly imprisoned me in his arms. “I really regret it.”
My hands hung by my sides, and I let him hold me like this.
“But I don’t regret it.”
Gu Zheng looked at my eyes in disbelief. He kissed my lips randomly and even tried to pry my mouth open. I just let him do it coldly.
He took my hand and put it on his chest. “Can’t you feel anything at all?”
I didn’t say a word and just held up my electronic wristband in front of his eyes – the heart rate was normal.
“Ye Han, you’re so cruel.” His eyes were full of gloom. “Haven’t you regretted leaving me at all?”
“No.” My voice wasn’t loud, but it was very firm.
“Fine, you’re tough.” Gu Zheng rubbed his face hard. “I, Gu Zheng, have done this kind of degrading thing once, and that’s enough.”
Gu Zheng came suddenly and left just as suddenly.
Life for me and Grape returned to peace again.
Before Cheng Mu Ye went back to school, he asked me if I would remarry Grape’s father.
“Grape’s father looks quite capable.” He scratched the back of his head shyly. “If you won’t remarry him, my family and I really like Grape. What do you think…”
“Maybe I will remarry.” I blurted out without explaining to him that he had mistaken Gu Zheng for Grape’s father.
“Yeah.” He smiled awkwardly. “Who wouldn’t like you and Grape?”
When Cheng Mu Ye was leaving for school, Grape hugged his leg and cried for a long time.
“Grape, brother will come back.” Cheng Mu Ye picked her up, feeling both amused and helpless. “Otherwise, you can come with brother to study abroad. I’ll find a kindergarten for you there.”
Grape took it seriously and asked me to pack her luggage. I was so angry that I punched Cheng Mu Ye twice.
When the season changed, Grape caught a cold from getting cold and had a fever that kept coming back and wouldn’t go away.
I took her to the hospital for an examination. The doctor looked serious and said that we needed to wait for a consultation with experts.
“Mommy, when can we go home?” Grape leaned weakly against me.
My heart sank to the bottom. I swallowed hard several times only to find that my mouth was as dry as if it had been polished by sandpaper.
“Doctor, does she need to be hospitalized?” I asked tremblingly.
“Ask your family members to bring some clothes over first.” The doctor said again. “The final result hasn’t come out yet.”
“Okay. Grape, be good and stay with Doctor Uncle for a while. Mommy will go to the washroom.” I cast a pleading look at the doctor, and tears were already flowing out of my eyes.
I rushed to the washroom, covered my mouth, and didn’t dare to cry out loud. My Grape…
My daughter…
Fortunately, after the expert consultation, it turned out that Grape was okay. I let out a long sigh of relief and slumped on the ground, unable to calm down for a long time.
The leading expert stared at me for a long time and asked uncertainly, “Is your mother Sun Yue Hua?”
I was stunned when I heard this name that I hadn’t heard for a long time and nodded blankly.
“It really is!” She suddenly became excited. “You look exactly like Yue Hua.”
“I never expected it.” She suddenly burst into tears without warning. “Your child is already so big.”
“If Yue Hua were still alive, she would be so happy.”
I quickly took out a tissue from my pocket and handed it to her. She wiped her eyes and asked me to wait for her in the office.
Hearing the name “Sun Yue Hua” again, I didn’t feel any waves in my heart, but Aunt Shen was very excited.
She said she was my mother’s college classmate.
“Yue Hua was always excellent in her studies at school.” Aunt Shen was looking at me, but I always felt that she wasn’t really looking at me. “If it hadn’t been for the car accident, your mother would definitely be more outstanding than me now.”
I only knew that she was my mother. I didn’t know anything else about her.
“When she and your father decided to get divorced, she had already received the admission notice for postgraduate studies.” Aunt Shen sighed deeply. “She got married to your father right after graduating from college and soon had you. Going back to school to study was a difficult decision for her.”
“We all advised her to leave you at home.” Aunt Shen’s voice was full of guilt. “A person’s energy is limited. It’s impossible to take care of a child and study at the same time.”
“Ye Han, a child is always the top priority in a mother’s heart. When a child is around, a mother always puts the child first.
“Between you and her future, we advised her to choose her future.”
“But.” Aunt Shen was filled with emotion. “Your mother insisted on taking you with her.”
I froze on the spot. “Aunt Shen, you must be joking. They didn’t want me when they were getting divorced.”
“Impossible.” Aunt Shen looked serious. “Your mother called me herself.”
“I saw her packing her luggage with my own eyes. They packed their luggage before going to the Civil Affairs Bureau.” I smiled helplessly.
“Impossible.” Aunt Shen was full of doubts. “She even asked me to help you find a kindergarten.”
All of a sudden, it was like a flash of lightning in my mind. I seemed to think of something. “Aunt Shen, I’ll take Grape out of the hospital first. I’ll bring Grape to see you in a couple of days.”
When I got home, I couldn’t wait to open the door that had been closed for a long time.
After my parents’ car accident, their luggage and the past were all locked up in this narrow room.
The buckles on the suitcase were already rusty. With a crisp sound of the buckles popping open, the clothes in the suitcase were revealed in front of me – besides my mother’s, there were also mine.
A lake-blue leather notebook lay quietly among the clothes, having lost its luster.
I opened it carefully. The smudged ballpoint pen writings not only recorded my childhood but also showed a mother’s countless complicated thoughts and worries.
[“Han Han can talk now. Her voice is so nice. She can be a broadcaster in the future…
[“All my classmates have jobs, but I have Han Han…
[“Will Han Han dislike me for not having a job? What should I do…
[“Ye Ge has been coming home very late recently. What is he doing outside…
[“I’m becoming more and more worried about gains and losses…
[“Ye Ge and I are arguing over the child. Han Han must stay with me…”]
…I couldn’t bring myself to read on.
For so many years, what on earth had I been hating?
Grape put her little hand on my face. “Mommy, why are you crying?”
“Grape, Mommy is the stupidest person in the world.”
“No, Mommy is the smartest person in the world, and Grape is too.”
Finally, the winter vacation came. So many things had happened this year.
Cheng Mu Ye came back to China during the holiday, and Grape became his little follower. She didn’t even want me, her own mother.
Gu Zheng really didn’t come to find me again as he said.
On New Year’s Eve, I took Grape to visit my parents and grandma’s graves.
That night, I had a dream about them for the first time in a long while.
In the dream, my young parents were arguing endlessly over me, and neither of them was willing to give up my custody.
Later, my father compromised and let me stay with my mother on the condition that my mother wouldn’t hide me from my father.
Then the scene changed to the day of their car accident. Grandma asked me to go and see my parents for the last time, but I was so stubborn that I refused.
After that, every time Grandma mentioned my parents, I would cover my ears and didn’t want to listen.
Back then, I didn’t understand Grandma’s complicated look in her eyes. But in the dream, as a bystander, I could see it clearly.
Everything around me was like a revolving lantern. I tried hard to chase after their disappearing figures, and suddenly I heard Grape’s voice.
On the first day of the new year.
“Mommy, Happy New Year! Congratulations on getting rich!”
Grape was wearing red long underwear and long johns, wriggling into my arms with all her limbs.
I wiped away the tears at the corners of my eyes and hugged her. “Happy New Year, baby!”
From now on, we will be happy every year.
